Bob: i haven't been seventeen for four years. memories. the year i got addicted to heroin, dropped out of school and lost a daughter. ;(
Sawa: ...
Bob: so i didn't especially celebrate my 17th at all. how about yours? CAKE!?
School on a birthday. Absurd. @_@
...Happy birthday to me. :3
9.24.2003
Kristoff: today I brought the free world to its knees
Sawa: Excellent
Kristoff: terrorists acting with funding and support from my government pumped VX nerve gas into the New York subway tunnels during morning rush hour, destroyed loaded passenger planes at LAX with RPGs, totally obliterated Denver International Airport, and destroyed some random shit in Israel all within 10 minutes of one another. the United States has no proof of where the attacks came from, and no idea who's behind them. they're pointing fingers at everyone, and nobody is on their side.
Sawa: Ahahahaha. Are you serious?
Kristoff: Syria, on the other hand, is complying with UN resolutions, trying to reach a peaceful settlement with Israel, and condemning the terrorists
Sawa: How is everyone else reacting?
Kristoff: Of whom they were also victims. or so they say. the other nations think the US is full of shit. they didn't react well to the crisis either, they took nearly 4 hours after the subway incident to address the nation. the entire country is screaming for blood. and they're desperately finding ANYONE they can arrest on phantom charges as a scapegoat to prevent their own people from bringing it down. meanwhile, the leader of those responsible was "exiled" from damascus and his organization "disbanded" by Syrian Republican Guard units. I AM AXIS OF EVIL.
Sawa: AHAHAHAHAHA BEST CHRIS EVER
Kristoff: So I think I won the simulation. badger badger badger badger...
Sawa: A badger on the flag of the country to replace America. New Syria. or what have you.
Kristoff: Kristoffland
Sawa: hehehehe. You so would.
Kristoff: You know you like it.
Sawa: Excellent
Kristoff: terrorists acting with funding and support from my government pumped VX nerve gas into the New York subway tunnels during morning rush hour, destroyed loaded passenger planes at LAX with RPGs, totally obliterated Denver International Airport, and destroyed some random shit in Israel all within 10 minutes of one another. the United States has no proof of where the attacks came from, and no idea who's behind them. they're pointing fingers at everyone, and nobody is on their side.
Sawa: Ahahahaha. Are you serious?
Kristoff: Syria, on the other hand, is complying with UN resolutions, trying to reach a peaceful settlement with Israel, and condemning the terrorists
Sawa: How is everyone else reacting?
Kristoff: Of whom they were also victims. or so they say. the other nations think the US is full of shit. they didn't react well to the crisis either, they took nearly 4 hours after the subway incident to address the nation. the entire country is screaming for blood. and they're desperately finding ANYONE they can arrest on phantom charges as a scapegoat to prevent their own people from bringing it down. meanwhile, the leader of those responsible was "exiled" from damascus and his organization "disbanded" by Syrian Republican Guard units. I AM AXIS OF EVIL.
Sawa: AHAHAHAHAHA BEST CHRIS EVER
Kristoff: So I think I won the simulation. badger badger badger badger...
Sawa: A badger on the flag of the country to replace America. New Syria. or what have you.
Kristoff: Kristoffland
Sawa: hehehehe. You so would.
Kristoff: You know you like it.
9.23.2003
twist your head around
it's all around you
all is full of love
all around you
"Hi. What do you want?"
"Just Peachy."
"...Heheh, that was cute."
"...Sixteen...ounces...plz....;_;"
":D"
Inside, I blushed. Profusely. He didn't charge me for the whipped cream.
I'm totally going back there.
circling all round the sun
Classes are boring and no I don't want to talk about them so stop asking everyone please. If anyone continues to ask me how I like my classes I'm going to crowbar their chest cavity open and dig their organs out with my bare hands.
...I wonder how that would feel.
it's not the same as running
Taken from my spiral:
Sigh. So I don't have my journal with me. What does that mean? Some good old-fashioned expulsion of the disease that's currently eating my nerves and appetite alive. I'm sitting here with food for two (him), deciding to be selfish and save some of this for tomorrow's myself instead of him, giving him my location tucked away in a sentenced riddle I hope/expect him not to solce.
Gradie's is like a small poorly-lit slice of Seattle, neat and unceremonius in the middle of Auburn. Unfortunately for my wallet and my poor car, it's simply not enough. I think I either secretly don't want him to call, or secretly want him to find me -- nay, KNOW where I am -- and apologize perhaps. Sigh. (I've been doing that far too much.) Heh...
Seeing the market empty. So barren.
Like me right now.
Fuck. He made me cry in public.
I'm tired of having reasons to cry. I'm tired of eating, but it all tastes so good. Tired of the flavors being good but the conversation being bad. Tired of being insulted, demeaned. (And not just by you, love.) Eating in silence. Tired of sighing, being given reasons to sigh. Thinking about Robbie. I proved I don't give everything up. Something inside me tells me to walk. I travel every day, upwards of 100 miles each, but it's never enough.
Sigh? I know that he won't remember as much about me as I'd like. But maybe all of it will stick someday. Maybe.
full of love
You see, that morning when Robbie sent me off to school with a Dir en Grey lunchpail, a kiss on the forehead, a huge hug and an "I love you." I will remember that forever. It breaks me in all the right ways. It would make me cry in the middle of a smile. He remembered my obscure Japanese band of the moment and that I had said I wanted a lunchbox with a Japanese band on it. Nobody has ever cared to remember so much about me. I crack under the pressure of its immaculate tragedy; the fact that I broke the man that said and did those things hurts far worse than knowing the man who said and did those things is gone forever.
I drive people mad.
full of love
I wish I never saw my reflection again. I wish I could play this song for the rest of my life, it makes my throat constrict. And I hate Bjork too. Go figure.
If you forget something, it might as well have never existed. Forgetting kills things. I wish I could build your memory palace for you, but I can't. I'm getting you the book that I read the first five pages of, to help you explain what it is and how it can be used. I want you to keep things alive. I want the look of confusion on your face gone. I don't want to get frustrated. I don't want to be misunderstood. I want you to know and remember me. Please.
Who else will?
it's all around you
all is full of love
all around you
"Hi. What do you want?"
"Just Peachy."
"...Heheh, that was cute."
"...Sixteen...ounces...plz....;_;"
":D"
Inside, I blushed. Profusely. He didn't charge me for the whipped cream.
I'm totally going back there.
circling all round the sun
Classes are boring and no I don't want to talk about them so stop asking everyone please. If anyone continues to ask me how I like my classes I'm going to crowbar their chest cavity open and dig their organs out with my bare hands.
...I wonder how that would feel.
it's not the same as running
Taken from my spiral:
Sigh. So I don't have my journal with me. What does that mean? Some good old-fashioned expulsion of the disease that's currently eating my nerves and appetite alive. I'm sitting here with food for two (him), deciding to be selfish and save some of this for tomorrow's myself instead of him, giving him my location tucked away in a sentenced riddle I hope/expect him not to solce.
Gradie's is like a small poorly-lit slice of Seattle, neat and unceremonius in the middle of Auburn. Unfortunately for my wallet and my poor car, it's simply not enough. I think I either secretly don't want him to call, or secretly want him to find me -- nay, KNOW where I am -- and apologize perhaps. Sigh. (I've been doing that far too much.) Heh...
Seeing the market empty. So barren.
Like me right now.
Fuck. He made me cry in public.
I'm tired of having reasons to cry. I'm tired of eating, but it all tastes so good. Tired of the flavors being good but the conversation being bad. Tired of being insulted, demeaned. (And not just by you, love.) Eating in silence. Tired of sighing, being given reasons to sigh. Thinking about Robbie. I proved I don't give everything up. Something inside me tells me to walk. I travel every day, upwards of 100 miles each, but it's never enough.
Sigh? I know that he won't remember as much about me as I'd like. But maybe all of it will stick someday. Maybe.
full of love
You see, that morning when Robbie sent me off to school with a Dir en Grey lunchpail, a kiss on the forehead, a huge hug and an "I love you." I will remember that forever. It breaks me in all the right ways. It would make me cry in the middle of a smile. He remembered my obscure Japanese band of the moment and that I had said I wanted a lunchbox with a Japanese band on it. Nobody has ever cared to remember so much about me. I crack under the pressure of its immaculate tragedy; the fact that I broke the man that said and did those things hurts far worse than knowing the man who said and did those things is gone forever.
I drive people mad.
full of love
I wish I never saw my reflection again. I wish I could play this song for the rest of my life, it makes my throat constrict. And I hate Bjork too. Go figure.
If you forget something, it might as well have never existed. Forgetting kills things. I wish I could build your memory palace for you, but I can't. I'm getting you the book that I read the first five pages of, to help you explain what it is and how it can be used. I want you to keep things alive. I want the look of confusion on your face gone. I don't want to get frustrated. I don't want to be misunderstood. I want you to know and remember me. Please.
Who else will?
9.22.2003
That wasn't Adrienne who closed her eyes against you and said nothing for well over three hours. Fuuma stood there idly, watching me put a large sheet of paper up on the wall and write upon it two things which I note here exactly as they were written down inside my memory palace. I was using this to drown your foolish words out.
OBSERVATIONS
In death, there is no thought. The orgasm contains at least one second in which nothing is thought. Thus, orgasm is the closest you will ever come to death.
The other observation doesn't deserve to be written here.
Nothing else I say here does either.
OBSERVATIONS
In death, there is no thought. The orgasm contains at least one second in which nothing is thought. Thus, orgasm is the closest you will ever come to death.
The other observation doesn't deserve to be written here.
Nothing else I say here does either.
9.20.2003
Bright Eyes in a Hot Topic. "In every city memories would whisper 'here is where you rest.'" Lock eyes with one of the employees who is mouthing the words like I am. Very interesting feeling, seeing that and smiling at each other at the same time.
Should be studying. Should be filling out applications. Should be anything but sitting here on my ass all day doing almost nothing, only "working," as it were, when conferencing with Nomad on the script. He tells me we should work together, form something after this is all over and done with, should it be received well. I agreed.
Where the fuck is Cornelius?
Another fantastic lunch today. Melted brie is fascinating. So thick. Today was, otherwise, worthless. Should've should've should've. One more day left to waste doing much the same thing. Sigh.
:|
Should be studying. Should be filling out applications. Should be anything but sitting here on my ass all day doing almost nothing, only "working," as it were, when conferencing with Nomad on the script. He tells me we should work together, form something after this is all over and done with, should it be received well. I agreed.
Where the fuck is Cornelius?
Another fantastic lunch today. Melted brie is fascinating. So thick. Today was, otherwise, worthless. Should've should've should've. One more day left to waste doing much the same thing. Sigh.
:|
9.19.2003
That last post sucked.
To make up for it:
Plug.
Kyle. (Hawt.)
I've been busy. My apologies to everyone who I've cut off, ignored, blocked, et cetera.
In your own stolen "lyrics interspersed with gaudy angst" way, my response to your IM, Jade, because I know you still read:
pleased to please you and shake the hand
that waits for me to leave to stab me in the back
good to see you and make you laugh
with the same mouth that calls the kettle black
and i want to say so many things
but three little words are all i need
to burn the bridge with no regrets to keep
i'm sorry to say that i hate you
and i never want to see you again
it's not a mistake that i met you
and it taught me everything
Yeah. Maybe you did grow up a bit from your experience with me. Do I care? You're still the same, same as always. I should write you your own fucking song instead of quoting these bands I'm sure you love.
here's to you two and your success
congratulations on the perfect mess
oh, what to do but the best
you'll never be good enough just like the rest
i'd like to say that it was fun living under the gun
i'd like to say i like you but that wouldn't be true
Enjoy France, you fucking failure.
To make up for it:
Plug.
Kyle. (Hawt.)
I've been busy. My apologies to everyone who I've cut off, ignored, blocked, et cetera.
In your own stolen "lyrics interspersed with gaudy angst" way, my response to your IM, Jade, because I know you still read:
pleased to please you and shake the hand
that waits for me to leave to stab me in the back
good to see you and make you laugh
with the same mouth that calls the kettle black
and i want to say so many things
but three little words are all i need
to burn the bridge with no regrets to keep
i'm sorry to say that i hate you
and i never want to see you again
it's not a mistake that i met you
and it taught me everything
Yeah. Maybe you did grow up a bit from your experience with me. Do I care? You're still the same, same as always. I should write you your own fucking song instead of quoting these bands I'm sure you love.
here's to you two and your success
congratulations on the perfect mess
oh, what to do but the best
you'll never be good enough just like the rest
i'd like to say that it was fun living under the gun
i'd like to say i like you but that wouldn't be true
Enjoy France, you fucking failure.
9.17.2003
I don't know WHAT was wrong with everyone tonight, but here it is in all its glory.
< Sphyx > MY BIRTHDAY'S IN TWELVE DAYS YAY. :|
< lynxtor > hot
< Xana > How old will you be?
< Sphyx > 59.
< Xana > please make out with me
< Sphyx > excellent.
< somebody > correction: Sexcellent
< Unidan > I REC--JUST TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES
< lynxtor > Sexcellent
< Sphyx > BEN TREATS ME JUST LIKE BOB, OH THE JOY
< lynxtor > Sexcellent
< Unidan > excessively creepy?
< Sphyx > SEXessively :D i totally got teh sexx0r today. i had to tell nomad to hold on while we were talking about fs matrix stuff
< lynxtor > what ?
< Sphyx > him and i had been talking about working on the script more, and i was dragged away from the computer for sex. or, as he said, "pole action."
< somebody > DON'T STOP TALKING
< lynxtor > :O what were you doing on the computer while your active sex partner was around?
< somebody > DETAILS
< Sphyx > LOL
< lynxtor > wait a second
< Sphyx > he had just walked in the door
< lynxtor > does your active sex partner equate to your hand? ..ahhhh i see
< Sphyx > even nomad was like "LEAVE TO GO SEX"
< lynxtor > so he's all "yo sup" and you're all "k let's go"
< Sphyx > yah, pretty much. it was like an hour long too.
* EROTIC_NINNY sets mode: +o Sphyx
< lynxtor > :O
< Sphyx > i was on top at first. but then he got all dominant and rolled us over and fucked me hard and long. THERE'S YOUR DETAILS. ..why in god's name am i talking about this. i need to go to sleep.
< EROTIC_NINNY > alright, Im gonna go beat off before I go to school. ..JK, THX SPHYX
< lynxtor > lloloolo
< EROTIC_NINNY > PLZ HAVE MORE SEX
< Sphyx > :D ANYTIME YO. lack of sleep is like my truth serum. keep me up all night and i'll tell you anything and everything.
< EROTIC_NINNY > what time zone are you in
< lynxtor > WHAT IS YOUR ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER?
< somebody > LYNXTOR WANA CYBER
< lynxtor > TIME TO HIT THE OLD BEDSTACK SPIKE TRAP WHILE SPHYX FUCKS JUHO ;o
< Sphyx > NUH UH
< lynxtor > ;O
< somebody > !
< Sphyx > MORE LIKE XANA. I MEAN ...MORE LIKE XANA.
Sawa: That was... You know, I fucking hate AIM.
Kristoff: destroy! burn! kill kill kill! burn every village! no retreat! no surrender! flood o'er the styx, to victory!!
Sawa: No wonder AOL Time Warner is dropping them. AOL go bye-bye. What a waste of money and time.
Kristoff: wait, what?
Sawa: Time Warner is back to being Time Warner. No more AOL.
Kristoff: lol I hadn't heard about that
Sawa: They're dumping them on their ass because they've squandered so much money. Yeah. :D
Kristoff: that's awesome. fucking aol. I'm back to listening to the badger thing.
Sawa: XD I watch that thing daily.
Kristoff: it's freaking awesome. MAGIC. FUCKING. MUSHROOM. BITCH.
Lynxtor: HI LOUTS. i mean. SPHXYX
Sawa: :DDD
BdLeUvEl: oh great satan, my friend needs help with women. could you give some good advice?
Sawa: Be yourself. Lying is the first step to taking control of any situation. Make sure you know who's paying for what beforehand. Open the door for her to get a feel for how well-mannered she wants you to be. Be her bitch until you start fucking, then you can do what you like.
Gah: would your boyfriend get the slightest bit jealous if we MADE PASSIONATE LOVE TO EACH OTHER FOR FIFTEEN STRAIGHT HOURS!? BECAUSE IF SO HE HAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE I LAST FIFTEEN SECONDS KERPOW
Sawa: :D
Gah: 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10
Sawa: /flashes tits ;o
Gah: 3, 2, 1. o:
Sawa: spooge?
Gah: SPSPPPPFFFFFFF OH FFFFFFFFF SHIT. OH MY GOD. kinda.
Sawa: cool.
Gah: was more of a "FFFFFFPPPPPOORORRRRROOOASSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH HHHHHSSSHHHHH... *drip drip*" why aren't you asleep, missy?
Sawa: cause i'm working with nomad on the script for FS Matrix
Gah: i have A SANDWICH. SANDWICH.
Sawa: oooh. i'd like a sandwich. A VIC SANDWICH.
Gah: ;oo SANDWICHED BETWEEN WHAT EXACTLY
Sawa: ME AND YOU :o
Gah: wtf... somesort.. of come on.
Sawa: yes.
Gah: searching brain for logical riposte. searching... you have encountered an error. BLAST.
Sawa: TEE HEE ^_^
Gah: aggh my kitty is all "feed me". and i'm all "GO AWAY." and he's all "feed me feed me feed me FEED ME FEED ME." and i'm all "GET THE FUCK OFF MY DESK I HATE YOU."
Sawa: i'm eating as i type. i burned the fucking noodles >.> first time i ever have. EVER. so i had to scrape the pot.
Nomad: sometimes i doubt your maturity
Sawa: :Nomad: don't worry though. think of it this way: you'll never be as worse off as me
Sawa: how so ;o
Nomad: you just won't. you know all those laws of math and physics and chemistry? it's like that
Sawa: oh. okay.
Cornelius: But how are you spending your time
Sawa: Scripting FS Matrix, racking my brain for ideas.
Cornelius: I don't mean to sound negative, but I have this feeling in the back of my brain that it won't get off the ground. God, that sounded negative no matter what. What do you think will happen with FS matrix.
Sawa: I think we'll finish it. Honestly. We're about a fourth of the way through the script.
Cornelius: you finish it and I'll get serious about re-starting on the music making. how's that for a propsition.
Sawa: Deal.
Cornelius: aces.
---
Cornelius: Do you ever think about murdering people? like in a serious manner?
Sawa: yeah.
Cornelius: You ever plan it all out in your head? The perfect crime. Like Dostoyevsky.
Sawa: when my boyfriend and i weren't together for those five months, i **CENSORED CENSORED**. all in my head that was. i've planned others before.
Cornelius: I was walking home from a poetry reading and these two drunk girls asked me what I was up to, they were looking for booze mostly from me. But I imagined myself letting them in, then taking one into the bathtub and slicing her throat then doing the same to the other. then just running the shower on them until the blood hardened and drained out, then burying them behind the wooded area near my house and covering their bodies with lye and planting a tree over them. I think I would have gotten busted
Sawa: that sounds awesome. but yeah, if they had reasonable cause to search your house, you're fucked. blood leaves behind a certain protein or something that glows bright green when covered in some sort of chemical and black lights are shone on it even if you "cleaned up"
Cornelius: eep, very true. I wonder if it's possible to use some sort of abraisive on it or something, or bleach. something must get that protein out.
---
Cornelius: Goodnight nigg
Sawa: night ;o
Cornelius: Don't stress your brain or I'll be forced to eat glass.
Sawa: Alright.
Cornelius: eat. fucking. glass.
Sawa: gotcha
Cornelius: anyways. take care adrienne. good sex and all that mumbo shitbo.
Sawa: LOVE YOU
Taisa: i lubble you more. more. most. morest. MOREST.
Sawa: :3
Taisa: DONT MAKE ME MOREST YOU.
Now let's never mention this night again.
I am so secretive. You'd never even guess.
< Sphyx > MY BIRTHDAY'S IN TWELVE DAYS YAY. :|
< lynxtor > hot
< Xana > How old will you be?
< Sphyx > 59.
< Xana > please make out with me
< Sphyx > excellent.
< somebody > correction: Sexcellent
< Unidan > I REC--JUST TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES
< lynxtor > Sexcellent
< Sphyx > BEN TREATS ME JUST LIKE BOB, OH THE JOY
< lynxtor > Sexcellent
< Unidan > excessively creepy?
< Sphyx > SEXessively :D i totally got teh sexx0r today. i had to tell nomad to hold on while we were talking about fs matrix stuff
< lynxtor > what ?
< Sphyx > him and i had been talking about working on the script more, and i was dragged away from the computer for sex. or, as he said, "pole action."
< somebody > DON'T STOP TALKING
< lynxtor > :O what were you doing on the computer while your active sex partner was around?
< somebody > DETAILS
< Sphyx > LOL
< lynxtor > wait a second
< Sphyx > he had just walked in the door
< lynxtor > does your active sex partner equate to your hand? ..ahhhh i see
< Sphyx > even nomad was like "LEAVE TO GO SEX"
< lynxtor > so he's all "yo sup" and you're all "k let's go"
< Sphyx > yah, pretty much. it was like an hour long too.
* EROTIC_NINNY sets mode: +o Sphyx
< lynxtor > :O
< Sphyx > i was on top at first. but then he got all dominant and rolled us over and fucked me hard and long. THERE'S YOUR DETAILS. ..why in god's name am i talking about this. i need to go to sleep.
< EROTIC_NINNY > alright, Im gonna go beat off before I go to school. ..JK, THX SPHYX
< lynxtor > lloloolo
< EROTIC_NINNY > PLZ HAVE MORE SEX
< Sphyx > :D ANYTIME YO. lack of sleep is like my truth serum. keep me up all night and i'll tell you anything and everything.
< EROTIC_NINNY > what time zone are you in
< lynxtor > WHAT IS YOUR ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER?
< somebody > LYNXTOR WANA CYBER
< lynxtor > TIME TO HIT THE OLD BEDSTACK SPIKE TRAP WHILE SPHYX FUCKS JUHO ;o
< Sphyx > NUH UH
< lynxtor > ;O
< somebody > !
< Sphyx > MORE LIKE XANA. I MEAN ...MORE LIKE XANA.
Sawa: That was... You know, I fucking hate AIM.
Kristoff: destroy! burn! kill kill kill! burn every village! no retreat! no surrender! flood o'er the styx, to victory!!
Sawa: No wonder AOL Time Warner is dropping them. AOL go bye-bye. What a waste of money and time.
Kristoff: wait, what?
Sawa: Time Warner is back to being Time Warner. No more AOL.
Kristoff: lol I hadn't heard about that
Sawa: They're dumping them on their ass because they've squandered so much money. Yeah. :D
Kristoff: that's awesome. fucking aol. I'm back to listening to the badger thing.
Sawa: XD I watch that thing daily.
Kristoff: it's freaking awesome. MAGIC. FUCKING. MUSHROOM. BITCH.
Lynxtor: HI LOUTS. i mean. SPHXYX
Sawa: :DDD
BdLeUvEl: oh great satan, my friend needs help with women. could you give some good advice?
Sawa: Be yourself. Lying is the first step to taking control of any situation. Make sure you know who's paying for what beforehand. Open the door for her to get a feel for how well-mannered she wants you to be. Be her bitch until you start fucking, then you can do what you like.
Gah: would your boyfriend get the slightest bit jealous if we MADE PASSIONATE LOVE TO EACH OTHER FOR FIFTEEN STRAIGHT HOURS!? BECAUSE IF SO HE HAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE I LAST FIFTEEN SECONDS KERPOW
Sawa: :D
Gah: 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10
Sawa: /flashes tits ;o
Gah: 3, 2, 1. o:
Sawa: spooge?
Gah: SPSPPPPFFFFFFF OH FFFFFFFFF SHIT. OH MY GOD. kinda.
Sawa: cool.
Gah: was more of a "FFFFFFPPPPPOORORRRRROOOASSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH HHHHHSSSHHHHH... *drip drip*" why aren't you asleep, missy?
Sawa: cause i'm working with nomad on the script for FS Matrix
Gah: i have A SANDWICH. SANDWICH.
Sawa: oooh. i'd like a sandwich. A VIC SANDWICH.
Gah: ;oo SANDWICHED BETWEEN WHAT EXACTLY
Sawa: ME AND YOU :o
Gah: wtf... somesort.. of come on.
Sawa: yes.
Gah: searching brain for logical riposte. searching... you have encountered an error. BLAST.
Sawa: TEE HEE ^_^
Gah: aggh my kitty is all "feed me". and i'm all "GO AWAY." and he's all "feed me feed me feed me FEED ME FEED ME." and i'm all "GET THE FUCK OFF MY DESK I HATE YOU."
Sawa: i'm eating as i type. i burned the fucking noodles >.> first time i ever have. EVER. so i had to scrape the pot.
Nomad: sometimes i doubt your maturity
Sawa: :Nomad: don't worry though. think of it this way: you'll never be as worse off as me
Sawa: how so ;o
Nomad: you just won't. you know all those laws of math and physics and chemistry? it's like that
Sawa: oh. okay.
Cornelius: But how are you spending your time
Sawa: Scripting FS Matrix, racking my brain for ideas.
Cornelius: I don't mean to sound negative, but I have this feeling in the back of my brain that it won't get off the ground. God, that sounded negative no matter what. What do you think will happen with FS matrix.
Sawa: I think we'll finish it. Honestly. We're about a fourth of the way through the script.
Cornelius: you finish it and I'll get serious about re-starting on the music making. how's that for a propsition.
Sawa: Deal.
Cornelius: aces.
---
Cornelius: Do you ever think about murdering people? like in a serious manner?
Sawa: yeah.
Cornelius: You ever plan it all out in your head? The perfect crime. Like Dostoyevsky.
Sawa: when my boyfriend and i weren't together for those five months, i **CENSORED CENSORED**. all in my head that was. i've planned others before.
Cornelius: I was walking home from a poetry reading and these two drunk girls asked me what I was up to, they were looking for booze mostly from me. But I imagined myself letting them in, then taking one into the bathtub and slicing her throat then doing the same to the other. then just running the shower on them until the blood hardened and drained out, then burying them behind the wooded area near my house and covering their bodies with lye and planting a tree over them. I think I would have gotten busted
Sawa: that sounds awesome. but yeah, if they had reasonable cause to search your house, you're fucked. blood leaves behind a certain protein or something that glows bright green when covered in some sort of chemical and black lights are shone on it even if you "cleaned up"
Cornelius: eep, very true. I wonder if it's possible to use some sort of abraisive on it or something, or bleach. something must get that protein out.
---
Cornelius: Goodnight nigg
Sawa: night ;o
Cornelius: Don't stress your brain or I'll be forced to eat glass.
Sawa: Alright.
Cornelius: eat. fucking. glass.
Sawa: gotcha
Cornelius: anyways. take care adrienne. good sex and all that mumbo shitbo.
Sawa: LOVE YOU
Taisa: i lubble you more. more. most. morest. MOREST.
Sawa: :3
Taisa: DONT MAKE ME MOREST YOU.
Now let's never mention this night again.
I am so secretive. You'd never even guess.
9.16.2003
Sawa: schmitt giggles, which in turn makes ME giggle
Vic: :o
Sawa: so both of us are sitting here giggling like little school girls
Vic: thats pretty hot
Sawa: the best part is that i AM a little school girl. i'm 5' 2" and i start classes in six days
Vic: !
Sawa: AND i have a school girl outfit
Vic: !!!!!! ..5'2" ..no wonder I flirt with you all the time
Sawa: :D
Vic: why must short girls be so adorable ;_;
Sawa: we are made of magic :3
Vic: figures
9.15.2003
like any uncharted territory
i must seem greatly intriguing
"My screen name got hacked into; so if you get a weird series of IMs from Petit Violiniste, it's not me. It's Adrienne, or one of her friends. She's messed with my shit again, and I changed my s/n now. Email me at strad_dreamer@hotmail.com and Ill give you my new s/n."
*innocent look* What a pity.
..Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? TEE HEE.
It's just too bad Anji was wrong about what she told "you", isn't it? I hope she sees that, and takes note.
what a beautiful day
i'm the king of all time
and nothing is impossible
in my all-powerful mind
i must seem greatly intriguing
"My screen name got hacked into; so if you get a weird series of IMs from Petit Violiniste, it's not me. It's Adrienne, or one of her friends. She's messed with my shit again, and I changed my s/n now. Email me at strad_dreamer@hotmail.com and Ill give you my new s/n."
*innocent look* What a pity.
..Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? TEE HEE.
It's just too bad Anji was wrong about what she told "you", isn't it? I hope she sees that, and takes note.
what a beautiful day
i'm the king of all time
and nothing is impossible
in my all-powerful mind
9.13.2003
Sawa: http://www.livejournal.com/users/silent_partita
Cornelius: people are silly
Sawa: She makes me want to peel my face off with glass. The world would be better off without her.
---
Cornelius: "There's a Canadian boy in my class who speaks fairly good English, and he happened to be sitting behind me. So she calls on him, and he says, quite matter-of-factly:
"Well..euh..ze man, eef he 'as a smokerrh, he might like herrh. But he might also say, euh, "You smell like zhe death."
No one could figure out why I was laughing myself silly for five minutes after that. They were too busy sending eachother the "crazy-American" look.
..These people are priceless."
I...understand why now.
Sawa: Yes. It gets worse.
Cornelius: It's like someone took my old writing and used a microcamera to take little pictures of it, then ran it through an angstometer, and then kicked it. Writing like this makes me glad erasers and delete buttons exist. I don't know what to say aside from 'failed abortion'.
First best friend: Aja Williams.
First real memory of something: My mother writing my name in big letters on my blankie, telling me that now that I was going to daycare and preschool, I needed to have my name on my stuff or people would take it. I was barely three.
First car: 1980 Oldsmobile Omega. Lewl.
First date: Logan. Fourth grade (for me). Wild Waves.
First real kiss: Josiah, the only person anything's ever been real with.
First break-up: Nick. Fifth grade.
First job: One in which I wasn't paid under the table? Interning at Equus. I miss my $9.00 an hour.
First screen name: v188.
First self purchased album: Modest Mouse - This Is A Long Drive For Someone With Nothing To Think About.
First funeral: My great-grandfather's.
First pet: Taipan. Kitty. :3
First piercing/tattoo: Ears when I was eight. On my birthday. Piercings are birthday affairs.
First credit card: N/A. Forever.
First true love: Josiah.
First enemy: Keith. That bastard at the first daycare I ever went to.
First big trip: Canada when I was one.
First musician you remember hearing in your house: Frank Sinatra. -_-
Last cigarette: A little over six years ago.
Last big car ride: "Big"? Like how "big"? I drove to Seattle earlier tonight...
Last kiss: About four hours ago. :(
Last good cry: Far too long.
Last library book checked out: The last one I can remember is The Art Of Memory.
Last movie seen: The Mothman Prophecies.
Last beverage drank: Berry White Jones Naturals. <3
Last food consumed: Taco Bell.
Last crush: My Chemistry teacher. (Lewl.)
Last phone call: To my mother asking her to get me unlost.
Last time showered: ...Yester..day?...
Last shoes worn: Muh Vans.
Last cd played: Some mixed something with Jimmy Eat World and Modest Mouse and Hot Hot Heat on it.
Last item bought: Hawaiian Puch @ 7-11.
Last annoyance: Brother reading IM conversations.
Last disappointment: Having to leave Josiah's.
Last soda drank: Amp.
Last time wanting to die: Can't remember.
Last time scolded: September 3rd, for having sex.
Last shirt worn: The one I'm wearing now. ;o
Last website visited: mail.yahoo.com
Cornelius: people are silly
Sawa: She makes me want to peel my face off with glass. The world would be better off without her.
---
Cornelius: "There's a Canadian boy in my class who speaks fairly good English, and he happened to be sitting behind me. So she calls on him, and he says, quite matter-of-factly:
"Well..euh..ze man, eef he 'as a smokerrh, he might like herrh. But he might also say, euh, "You smell like zhe death."
No one could figure out why I was laughing myself silly for five minutes after that. They were too busy sending eachother the "crazy-American" look.
..These people are priceless."
I...understand why now.
Sawa: Yes. It gets worse.
Cornelius: It's like someone took my old writing and used a microcamera to take little pictures of it, then ran it through an angstometer, and then kicked it. Writing like this makes me glad erasers and delete buttons exist. I don't know what to say aside from 'failed abortion'.
<3
First best friend: Aja Williams.
First real memory of something: My mother writing my name in big letters on my blankie, telling me that now that I was going to daycare and preschool, I needed to have my name on my stuff or people would take it. I was barely three.
First car: 1980 Oldsmobile Omega. Lewl.
First date: Logan. Fourth grade (for me). Wild Waves.
First real kiss: Josiah, the only person anything's ever been real with.
First break-up: Nick. Fifth grade.
First job: One in which I wasn't paid under the table? Interning at Equus. I miss my $9.00 an hour.
First screen name: v188.
First self purchased album: Modest Mouse - This Is A Long Drive For Someone With Nothing To Think About.
First funeral: My great-grandfather's.
First pet: Taipan. Kitty. :3
First piercing/tattoo: Ears when I was eight. On my birthday. Piercings are birthday affairs.
First credit card: N/A. Forever.
First true love: Josiah.
First enemy: Keith. That bastard at the first daycare I ever went to.
First big trip: Canada when I was one.
First musician you remember hearing in your house: Frank Sinatra. -_-
Last cigarette: A little over six years ago.
Last big car ride: "Big"? Like how "big"? I drove to Seattle earlier tonight...
Last kiss: About four hours ago. :(
Last good cry: Far too long.
Last library book checked out: The last one I can remember is The Art Of Memory.
Last movie seen: The Mothman Prophecies.
Last beverage drank: Berry White Jones Naturals. <3
Last food consumed: Taco Bell.
Last crush: My Chemistry teacher. (Lewl.)
Last phone call: To my mother asking her to get me unlost.
Last time showered: ...Yester..day?...
Last shoes worn: Muh Vans.
Last cd played: Some mixed something with Jimmy Eat World and Modest Mouse and Hot Hot Heat on it.
Last item bought: Hawaiian Puch @ 7-11.
Last annoyance: Brother reading IM conversations.
Last disappointment: Having to leave Josiah's.
Last soda drank: Amp.
Last time wanting to die: Can't remember.
Last time scolded: September 3rd, for having sex.
Last shirt worn: The one I'm wearing now. ;o
Last website visited: mail.yahoo.com
9.11.2003
You'll find someone someday that is going to be just as honest as you with no idea what they want or where they're going, but you'll both end up convinced that as long as you drift together, you'll eventually land alright. You'll know them when you see them, you'll feel it. You'll want to kill yourself trying over and over with them if it's necessary. When you find them, don't let go. If there ever is an "after" that one, no one will ever come close.
The problem with today is that so many people mistake other feelings for that one. It's very close to the others, but not the same. It's like you've discovered air and are just learning to breathe. You'll have your own words for it when you find it.
You'll see. They'll turn you inside out. I promise you.
The problem with today is that so many people mistake other feelings for that one. It's very close to the others, but not the same. It's like you've discovered air and are just learning to breathe. You'll have your own words for it when you find it.
You'll see. They'll turn you inside out. I promise you.
9.10.2003
9.09.2003
Let me tell you what's not fun. Waiting for you to respond. THAT IS NOT FUN. AND THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO ALL NIGHT.
Chris is right to leave without saying anything. Chris is right to take his rage out on others. I can't, though, because love makes you weak. It's weights on all your limbs and I feel so weary just lifting my head, raising an arm...
...Someone remind me why I signed on to the FS Matrix project?
I've got the first scene done. I figure if I do at LEAST one a night, Nomadx will be pleased with me. And that means that I have all the rest of that open time to work on the final version of Illusions, i.e. more pretentious crap for everyone to overlook, all the while crossing my fingers in the hopes that I don't hear from Pulp Bits or Word Riot for at least two more days.
So.
Incredibly.
Angry.
Chris is right to leave without saying anything. Chris is right to take his rage out on others. I can't, though, because love makes you weak. It's weights on all your limbs and I feel so weary just lifting my head, raising an arm...
...Someone remind me why I signed on to the FS Matrix project?
I've got the first scene done. I figure if I do at LEAST one a night, Nomadx will be pleased with me. And that means that I have all the rest of that open time to work on the final version of Illusions, i.e. more pretentious crap for everyone to overlook, all the while crossing my fingers in the hopes that I don't hear from Pulp Bits or Word Riot for at least two more days.
So.
Incredibly.
Angry.
Stupidest website ever? Absolutely. Thanks for perpetuating more of the utter tripe you report on. :D!
9.08.2003
Sawa: http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/21. That accurately describes my day.
Kristoff: wow...that's a lot of drug use.
Sawa: And probably the best response I've gotten to it.
Kristoff: "wowoooo snake snaaaaake it's a snaaaaaaaaake!" oh man...that's too much fun.
Sawa: I've been listening to this for the last hour straight.
Kristoff: Does this just loop infinitely? ;)
Sawa: Yeah. XD
Kristoff: That's awesome. I'm bookmarking this.
Kristoff: wow...that's a lot of drug use.
Sawa: And probably the best response I've gotten to it.
Kristoff: "wowoooo snake snaaaaake it's a snaaaaaaaaake!" oh man...that's too much fun.
Sawa: I've been listening to this for the last hour straight.
Kristoff: Does this just loop infinitely? ;)
Sawa: Yeah. XD
Kristoff: That's awesome. I'm bookmarking this.
9.01.2003
Kristoff: I would be a terrible parent.
Sawa: Why?
Kristoff: Someone would be like: "Kristoff, your kid is having group sex on the living room floor." and I would be like: "Forward her the cleaning bill. I thought I told you not to call me unless something important was happening."
Sawa: ...Best parenting ever. I think we'd be much better parents than our own.
Kristoff: My kid would come in and be like: "I need money." and I would be like: "So you can drunk with your friends this weekend?" and my kid would be surprised to hear that from me. and I would be like: "Get a job."
Sawa: Lol.
Kristoff: and yeah. So I dunno, that would be me as a parent.
Sawa: I would at the very least be smart enough to know that when I say no one in the house, they would have people over. I mean come on now.
Kristoff: Anytime the parents are gone, in fact. There will be people over. :P
Sawa: Lol, This is true.
Kristoff: It's ludicrous to assume otherwise.
Sawa: And a very simple way to fix it. STAY HOME. Jesus.
Kristoff: Or not care. That's more my style.
Sawa: Yes. Mine too. Especially if they were my age. I mean I'm going to college, for fuck's sake. I'm irresponsible like they're good parents.
Kristoff: Yah.
---
Kristoff: ..A month??
Sawa: Yes, a fucking month.
Kristoff: ....
Sawa: This is absurd.
Kristoff: I can't handle this.
Sawa: It's intolerable, really. How do they suppose they're going to get me to cooperate at all now?
Kristoff: well, it would be quite irrational for them to expect cooperation at this point. I might have to steal you away. I'm not sure I can do a month.
Sawa: It would be a welcome departure.
Kristoff: A MONTH. I can't even fathom that length of time. My perception goes in minute. Maybe hours. Rarely days.
Sawa: Yes. I'm disappointed in their timeframe of choice.
Kristoff: If I ever grounded a kid of mine I'd probably forget in like 3 hours. I'd be like: "You're grounded until you leave the house." 3 hours later... "Dad can I go off-roading with my retarded teenage friends?" "I don't care. Ask your mother."
Sawa: Hehehe. :)
Kristoff: This is me as a parent. o.o;
Sawa: I wonder if there's any way I could feed them some sense.
Kristoff: Probably not. You know how old people are.
Sawa: Yes, yes.. Stealing me away sounds awfully good right about now. I'm going to be bored as all hell.
---
Kristoff: How did she know that, anyway?
Sawa: Neighbor. -_- Who has nothing better to do than spy on me.
Kristoff: ugh. I know neighbors like that. the'yre worthless.
Sawa: All neighbors are worthless in my experience.
Kristoff: This is true. RAGE! -paces- This month.
Sawa: Not only will I be grounded over YOUR birthday, but my own as well.
Kristoff: I cannot allow this treachery to continue.
---
Kristoff: But then, you'd also think that people wouldn't ground you for a month for having company over.
Sawa: In her eyes it isn't company. It's a would-be attacker with a penis he can violate my precious innocence with. Moreover, and even worse, it's also a man with a penis that I can voluntarily have sex with. In HER house.
Kristoff: -waves finger to show how unimpressed that makes him- -implies that he would not parent in such a way-
Sawa: InDEED. Nevermind the fact that I've had condoms in open view in my room, and that she refuses to let me love anyone, let alone have any level of relationship to her knowledge above necking, or what have you... I'm almost 17 god damn years old. I really don't understand how this is effective parenting.
Kristoff: It's actually anti-parenting. parenting should be, according to my understanding, preparing your kid to make her own decisions in life, rather than constantly relying on the judgement of others. Therefore, constantly trying to force your own viewpoint upon the child is anti-parenting. Up to a point it is appropriate to impress the understanding you have gleaned of the world upon the child, but the time comes when this is not only a waste of time, but actually creates tension between the child, who is in want of independent thought, and the parent, who doesn't understand what independent thought means.
Sawa: Let alone why THEIR child should want it. It being so DANGEROUS and all. It's as if I'm in prison.
Kristoff: By my understanding of prison, that sentence would be accurate without the it's as if. If you think about it, the point of prison is to confine someone until they have been rehabilitated/reprogrammed in a way that suits the confiner. You are being confined because the confiner wishes to change your behaviour. No different than sending a bank robber to lockup.
Sawa: You're very much in the right. I'm sure this groundation, however extreme and exorbitant, is a direct result of me having people over when she told me not to, and her subsequent belief that by not mentioning the fact that someone was over, I was blatantly lying to her. She asked me who was over. I told her Kyle. She asked how long he had been here. I said I didn't mean for him to be here such a long time. I didn't specify at all. Maybe she'll have calmed down by the time she gets home.
Kristoff: If I was a parent and my neighbor called and told me my kid had someone over when I told them not to while I was out of town I would say: "Has the house burned down?" "No." "Are the windows broken?" "No." "Did you hear any screaming that was not orgasmic in nature?" ".....uh...no." "Then why did you call me, again?"
Sawa: Perhaps the fact that I could be deriving any sort of physical pleasure from someone sickens her. Though that would be contradictory to her behavior towards the marks that show up on my neck from time to time. Which she actually laughs at and teases me lightly about. I'm utterly at a loss as to how I deserved such a reaction. Perhaps she would've felt more at ease had I just plain told her I was having someone over and that there was nothing she could do about it, her being in Oregon and all?
Kristoff: Probably not. That would be considered "insolence" which irrational authority figures traditionally interpret as a sign that further rehabilitation in prison is required. whereas I would probably reply with: "You're right. I'm going back to sleep."
Sawa: I'm tired of her attempts to contort my life into what hers should've been. That's what I thought. And what she doesn't know about won't hurt her. So what's the problem, exactly? I'm not sure. Maybe that she doesn't want me to have sex? Maybe that's what pissed her off is that I was engaging in concensual pleasure with someone in my own room on my own bed. Or so she thinks. Which she is right to, but I'm no longer going to try and change what she's already decided on about me.
Kristoff: In my dominion, she would be purged.
Sawa: Put her on the list.
Kristoff: She has been so added. I hereby declare her judgement worthless.
See you kids later. :|
Sawa: Why?
Kristoff: Someone would be like: "Kristoff, your kid is having group sex on the living room floor." and I would be like: "Forward her the cleaning bill. I thought I told you not to call me unless something important was happening."
Sawa: ...Best parenting ever. I think we'd be much better parents than our own.
Kristoff: My kid would come in and be like: "I need money." and I would be like: "So you can drunk with your friends this weekend?" and my kid would be surprised to hear that from me. and I would be like: "Get a job."
Sawa: Lol.
Kristoff: and yeah. So I dunno, that would be me as a parent.
Sawa: I would at the very least be smart enough to know that when I say no one in the house, they would have people over. I mean come on now.
Kristoff: Anytime the parents are gone, in fact. There will be people over. :P
Sawa: Lol, This is true.
Kristoff: It's ludicrous to assume otherwise.
Sawa: And a very simple way to fix it. STAY HOME. Jesus.
Kristoff: Or not care. That's more my style.
Sawa: Yes. Mine too. Especially if they were my age. I mean I'm going to college, for fuck's sake. I'm irresponsible like they're good parents.
Kristoff: Yah.
---
Kristoff: ..A month??
Sawa: Yes, a fucking month.
Kristoff: ....
Sawa: This is absurd.
Kristoff: I can't handle this.
Sawa: It's intolerable, really. How do they suppose they're going to get me to cooperate at all now?
Kristoff: well, it would be quite irrational for them to expect cooperation at this point. I might have to steal you away. I'm not sure I can do a month.
Sawa: It would be a welcome departure.
Kristoff: A MONTH. I can't even fathom that length of time. My perception goes in minute. Maybe hours. Rarely days.
Sawa: Yes. I'm disappointed in their timeframe of choice.
Kristoff: If I ever grounded a kid of mine I'd probably forget in like 3 hours. I'd be like: "You're grounded until you leave the house." 3 hours later... "Dad can I go off-roading with my retarded teenage friends?" "I don't care. Ask your mother."
Sawa: Hehehe. :)
Kristoff: This is me as a parent. o.o;
Sawa: I wonder if there's any way I could feed them some sense.
Kristoff: Probably not. You know how old people are.
Sawa: Yes, yes.. Stealing me away sounds awfully good right about now. I'm going to be bored as all hell.
---
Kristoff: How did she know that, anyway?
Sawa: Neighbor. -_- Who has nothing better to do than spy on me.
Kristoff: ugh. I know neighbors like that. the'yre worthless.
Sawa: All neighbors are worthless in my experience.
Kristoff: This is true. RAGE! -paces- This month.
Sawa: Not only will I be grounded over YOUR birthday, but my own as well.
Kristoff: I cannot allow this treachery to continue.
---
Kristoff: But then, you'd also think that people wouldn't ground you for a month for having company over.
Sawa: In her eyes it isn't company. It's a would-be attacker with a penis he can violate my precious innocence with. Moreover, and even worse, it's also a man with a penis that I can voluntarily have sex with. In HER house.
Kristoff: -waves finger to show how unimpressed that makes him- -implies that he would not parent in such a way-
Sawa: InDEED. Nevermind the fact that I've had condoms in open view in my room, and that she refuses to let me love anyone, let alone have any level of relationship to her knowledge above necking, or what have you... I'm almost 17 god damn years old. I really don't understand how this is effective parenting.
Kristoff: It's actually anti-parenting. parenting should be, according to my understanding, preparing your kid to make her own decisions in life, rather than constantly relying on the judgement of others. Therefore, constantly trying to force your own viewpoint upon the child is anti-parenting. Up to a point it is appropriate to impress the understanding you have gleaned of the world upon the child, but the time comes when this is not only a waste of time, but actually creates tension between the child, who is in want of independent thought, and the parent, who doesn't understand what independent thought means.
Sawa: Let alone why THEIR child should want it. It being so DANGEROUS and all. It's as if I'm in prison.
Kristoff: By my understanding of prison, that sentence would be accurate without the it's as if. If you think about it, the point of prison is to confine someone until they have been rehabilitated/reprogrammed in a way that suits the confiner. You are being confined because the confiner wishes to change your behaviour. No different than sending a bank robber to lockup.
Sawa: You're very much in the right. I'm sure this groundation, however extreme and exorbitant, is a direct result of me having people over when she told me not to, and her subsequent belief that by not mentioning the fact that someone was over, I was blatantly lying to her. She asked me who was over. I told her Kyle. She asked how long he had been here. I said I didn't mean for him to be here such a long time. I didn't specify at all. Maybe she'll have calmed down by the time she gets home.
Kristoff: If I was a parent and my neighbor called and told me my kid had someone over when I told them not to while I was out of town I would say: "Has the house burned down?" "No." "Are the windows broken?" "No." "Did you hear any screaming that was not orgasmic in nature?" ".....uh...no." "Then why did you call me, again?"
Sawa: Perhaps the fact that I could be deriving any sort of physical pleasure from someone sickens her. Though that would be contradictory to her behavior towards the marks that show up on my neck from time to time. Which she actually laughs at and teases me lightly about. I'm utterly at a loss as to how I deserved such a reaction. Perhaps she would've felt more at ease had I just plain told her I was having someone over and that there was nothing she could do about it, her being in Oregon and all?
Kristoff: Probably not. That would be considered "insolence" which irrational authority figures traditionally interpret as a sign that further rehabilitation in prison is required. whereas I would probably reply with: "You're right. I'm going back to sleep."
Sawa: I'm tired of her attempts to contort my life into what hers should've been. That's what I thought. And what she doesn't know about won't hurt her. So what's the problem, exactly? I'm not sure. Maybe that she doesn't want me to have sex? Maybe that's what pissed her off is that I was engaging in concensual pleasure with someone in my own room on my own bed. Or so she thinks. Which she is right to, but I'm no longer going to try and change what she's already decided on about me.
Kristoff: In my dominion, she would be purged.
Sawa: Put her on the list.
Kristoff: She has been so added. I hereby declare her judgement worthless.
See you kids later. :|
Grounded. For... a month. Starting at 8pm PST.
time, take us forward
relief from this longing
they can land that plane
on my heart
i don't care
just give me november
the warmth of a whisper
in the freezing darkness
of my room
I want to throw everything in sight. I want to throw myself and break myself on the wall and lay on my floor in PIECES.
I APOLOGIZE FOR FALLING IN LOVE, MOTHER. I'm sorry it doesn't fit in with your plans for me. Your wishes for me.
God fucking dammit.
see the curious girl
with that look on her face
so surprised, she stares
out form her display case
Happy birthday, Adrienne, you're grounded. I HAVE NO FRIENDS TO CELEBRATE MY WORTHLESS BIRTH ANYWAY. Just something you won't even--.. What does it matter whether you ground me, I'M ALREADY GROUNDED. Do you see wings on my back? DO YOU?
The cap on my Jones soda: This is a month of opportunities, but you must stay alert.
i want to
i want to be someone else
or i'll explode
*laughs* Why am I angry. What point is there in angry.
floating upon the surface
for the birds
Who saw this coming. Honestly.
At least they don't know WHO it was.
I want to hear that crack of plastic against plaster again.
hand over my mouth
i'm earning the right to my silence
in quiet discerning
I just won't say anything.
Plead the fifth, if you will.
is tomorrow just a day like all the rest?
Gods, I'm tired. *yawns*
time, take us forward
relief from this longing
they can land that plane
on my heart
i don't care
just give me november
the warmth of a whisper
in the freezing darkness
of my room
I want to throw everything in sight. I want to throw myself and break myself on the wall and lay on my floor in PIECES.
I APOLOGIZE FOR FALLING IN LOVE, MOTHER. I'm sorry it doesn't fit in with your plans for me. Your wishes for me.
God fucking dammit.
see the curious girl
with that look on her face
so surprised, she stares
out form her display case
Happy birthday, Adrienne, you're grounded. I HAVE NO FRIENDS TO CELEBRATE MY WORTHLESS BIRTH ANYWAY. Just something you won't even--.. What does it matter whether you ground me, I'M ALREADY GROUNDED. Do you see wings on my back? DO YOU?
The cap on my Jones soda: This is a month of opportunities, but you must stay alert.
i want to
i want to be someone else
or i'll explode
*laughs* Why am I angry. What point is there in angry.
floating upon the surface
for the birds
Who saw this coming. Honestly.
At least they don't know WHO it was.
I want to hear that crack of plastic against plaster again.
hand over my mouth
i'm earning the right to my silence
in quiet discerning
I just won't say anything.
Plead the fifth, if you will.
is tomorrow just a day like all the rest?
Gods, I'm tired. *yawns*
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