You know there's something wrong with your life when someone ask you where that burning plastic smell is coming from and you respond with, "I hadn't noticed. I was too busy staring at the wall."
When there's a pair of scissors in your hand and you can't remember how they got there.
When you're eating stale cookies and you realize that the best part of your day was making fun of someone else.
2.28.2003
"According to her website she's a BAKA GAIJIN MORTAL!!!! type. With kanji carved into her or something. Checka check it out."
Best description of me evar.
So, I printed off the application to Wellesley today, to see what they look for and other things. It's TWENTY-EIGHT BLOODY PAGES LONG. NOT TO MENTION ALL THE FINANCIAL AID STUFF I HAVE TO DO. Agh. So, plan number one consists of going to Wellesley to get a degree in something useful, like English, and then fleeing the country. Plan number two, if one should fail in any way, is to go to community college and then transfer and then flee. Plan number three is flee like mad. We'll see what happens.
One of the things that I thought was cool: "If you wish to be put in a race category, please mark any of the below."
*checks herself off as mexican and asian*
Best description of me evar.
So, I printed off the application to Wellesley today, to see what they look for and other things. It's TWENTY-EIGHT BLOODY PAGES LONG. NOT TO MENTION ALL THE FINANCIAL AID STUFF I HAVE TO DO. Agh. So, plan number one consists of going to Wellesley to get a degree in something useful, like English, and then fleeing the country. Plan number two, if one should fail in any way, is to go to community college and then transfer and then flee. Plan number three is flee like mad. We'll see what happens.
One of the things that I thought was cool: "If you wish to be put in a race category, please mark any of the below."
*checks herself off as mexican and asian*
2.27.2003
I have the heat cranked up to 90 and I'm sipping Pepsi's disgusting ripoff of Sprite. I mentioned maybe a week or so ago that there's more than one bracelet I've received/stolen from other people, but I didn't realize it was so many (5) till today. Interesting how close all of them are to my trash can. Mweheheh.
PICKLE BOMB. AHAHAHAH. Ahem. The Cowboy Bebop movie that was released in Japan in 2001 is coming to Amerika finally. It'll be in movie theatres nationwide on April Fourth. Hopefull, this is what Michi and Raye and I will be seeing instead of that half-baked idea to go see Pirates of the Caribbean.
We started our poetry/transcendentalism unit in American Lit. Fun times to be had by all. We kicked it off with a Dickinson poetry reading while all of us lounged on the floor. Wright said something to me after about him thinking of me first when he went to make up the lesson plan. He was surprised to learn that that was the first time I had ever read any of her poems. We get to do this sitting around the room and talking deal for three weeks. I am Jack's immense gratitude.
In other news, my U.S. History teacher is a stupid conniving bitch and I hate every single assignment she will ever give us.
Also: The person I sit next to in Geometry is a moron.
Jade: Me was seeck.
Sawa: OH YOU POOR BABY *coddles*
Jade: ...Shut up. ... -_-
Sawa: *watching Music Station*
Jade: -deflates- Fffffffffffffffffffpppptpttttthhhhhh...
Sawa: XD
Jade: Bleeeeeeeeeeh.
Sawa: *sings along with Matsu Takako*
Jade: I need favore of yoo.
Sawa: This will be favor number 3238457349857209384. What can I do for you.
Jade: If you're going to be sarcastic, I'm not going to ask you. -_- -rolls self up, hops into box, and puts self on shelf in closet-
Sawa: Like me not doing the favor for you would be punishment? What is it?
Jade: No, the way you said eet. ;_; ...CD. Me want a CD.
Sawa: Burned?
Jade: Yees.
Sawa: No can do. If you keep forgetting, MY BOX IS BROKED.
Jade: Oh yeah...your compudedededrr. FINE
Sawa: I got a new powar supply, but the video card's fried.
Jade: BEETCH YOU DON"T HAFF TO YELL AT MEEE
Sawa: IT'S NOT MY FALT WHORE
Jade: -runs away-
Sawa: Burn your own god damned CDs, I already showed you liek a billion times how to do it.
Jade: YOU DON"T HAFF TO YELL MY FUCKING COMPUTER EES STEWPID. I HAEETT YOOOOOO AGAGGHHHHDIIEEEEEEE. -stabs Sawa with a detached antenna- -keeeeells- MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAA. N:AWEKJRDKLjrekl;rkldjasrko;wekrjerk.dar.e. SECRET NINJA SAWA EES DEEDDDDDDD. -parades around insanely-
Sawa: *dead* X_X
Jade: -real Jade just sits there in her chair laughing hoarsely- ...Kekekekekekeke...keeeekekekekekeke.. -suffocates...-
Sawa: How the hell could you get sick enough to miss school so quickly.
Jade: Ooooohh eerie mystical doom deathstuff. I threw up everything I had eaten yesterday. x_x
Sawa: I come to school when I'm leaking from every orifice on my head. But it's not really my CHOICE. My whore of a mother MAKES ME GO BECAUSE YOU CAN'T EVER STOP AND TAKE A BREATH JUST HAVE TO KEEP PUSHING FORWARD AND GOING AND GOING.
Jade: Who says my mother doesn't? She was already gone and on her way to work when I called her and told her I couldn't go.
Sawa: Well, you could always just stay home and she wouldn't know the difference.
Jade: Well, you know. I'm just paranoid. With my luck, I'd get caught.
Sawa: I wake up around the same time as my mother, and she gives me this, "If I lived through having the mumps, you can certainly go to skewl with your wussy headcold." And then she throws me out the front door naked into fifteen feet of snow. And I walk to school. Uphill. Both ways.
Jade: ...-laughs- Poor Sawa.
"You say elevator, we say lift. You say aluminum, we say aluminium. You say caterpillar, we say... caterpillar. You say 'erbs', and we say 'herbs' because there's a fucking 'h' in it."
<3 Eddie Izzard
PICKLE BOMB. AHAHAHAH. Ahem. The Cowboy Bebop movie that was released in Japan in 2001 is coming to Amerika finally. It'll be in movie theatres nationwide on April Fourth. Hopefull, this is what Michi and Raye and I will be seeing instead of that half-baked idea to go see Pirates of the Caribbean.
We started our poetry/transcendentalism unit in American Lit. Fun times to be had by all. We kicked it off with a Dickinson poetry reading while all of us lounged on the floor. Wright said something to me after about him thinking of me first when he went to make up the lesson plan. He was surprised to learn that that was the first time I had ever read any of her poems. We get to do this sitting around the room and talking deal for three weeks. I am Jack's immense gratitude.
In other news, my U.S. History teacher is a stupid conniving bitch and I hate every single assignment she will ever give us.
Also: The person I sit next to in Geometry is a moron.
Jade: Me was seeck.
Sawa: OH YOU POOR BABY *coddles*
Jade: ...Shut up. ... -_-
Sawa: *watching Music Station*
Jade: -deflates- Fffffffffffffffffffpppptpttttthhhhhh...
Sawa: XD
Jade: Bleeeeeeeeeeh.
Sawa: *sings along with Matsu Takako*
Jade: I need favore of yoo.
Sawa: This will be favor number 3238457349857209384. What can I do for you.
Jade: If you're going to be sarcastic, I'm not going to ask you. -_- -rolls self up, hops into box, and puts self on shelf in closet-
Sawa: Like me not doing the favor for you would be punishment? What is it?
Jade: No, the way you said eet. ;_; ...CD. Me want a CD.
Sawa: Burned?
Jade: Yees.
Sawa: No can do. If you keep forgetting, MY BOX IS BROKED.
Jade: Oh yeah...your compudedededrr. FINE
Sawa: I got a new powar supply, but the video card's fried.
Jade: BEETCH YOU DON"T HAFF TO YELL AT MEEE
Sawa: IT'S NOT MY FALT WHORE
Jade: -runs away-
Sawa: Burn your own god damned CDs, I already showed you liek a billion times how to do it.
Jade: YOU DON"T HAFF TO YELL MY FUCKING COMPUTER EES STEWPID. I HAEETT YOOOOOO AGAGGHHHHDIIEEEEEEE. -stabs Sawa with a detached antenna- -keeeeells- MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAA. N:AWEKJRDKLjrekl;rkldjasrko;wekrjerk.dar.e. SECRET NINJA SAWA EES DEEDDDDDDD. -parades around insanely-
Sawa: *dead* X_X
Jade: -real Jade just sits there in her chair laughing hoarsely- ...Kekekekekekeke...keeeekekekekekeke.. -suffocates...-
Sawa: How the hell could you get sick enough to miss school so quickly.
Jade: Ooooohh eerie mystical doom deathstuff. I threw up everything I had eaten yesterday. x_x
Sawa: I come to school when I'm leaking from every orifice on my head. But it's not really my CHOICE. My whore of a mother MAKES ME GO BECAUSE YOU CAN'T EVER STOP AND TAKE A BREATH JUST HAVE TO KEEP PUSHING FORWARD AND GOING AND GOING.
Jade: Who says my mother doesn't? She was already gone and on her way to work when I called her and told her I couldn't go.
Sawa: Well, you could always just stay home and she wouldn't know the difference.
Jade: Well, you know. I'm just paranoid. With my luck, I'd get caught.
Sawa: I wake up around the same time as my mother, and she gives me this, "If I lived through having the mumps, you can certainly go to skewl with your wussy headcold." And then she throws me out the front door naked into fifteen feet of snow. And I walk to school. Uphill. Both ways.
Jade: ...-laughs- Poor Sawa.
"You say elevator, we say lift. You say aluminum, we say aluminium. You say caterpillar, we say... caterpillar. You say 'erbs', and we say 'herbs' because there's a fucking 'h' in it."
<3 Eddie Izzard
In reference to "See how many times you can stab yourself in the face with a pair of scissors before you start missing because you can't see anymore."...
Chris: It takes quite a few before you completely lose vision actually. well, unless you go straight for the eyes.
Sawa: and if you were already stabbing yourself in the face anyway, why not?
Seven Deadly Sins
WRATH
1. Who did you last get angry with? "Trent." But I'm quite over that.
2. What is your weapon of choice? My fingernails.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Oh yes.
4. How about of the same sex? Even better.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Um... Jade.
6. What is your pet peeve? Assumptions.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Depends on who you are and what you did.
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Vacuum. ._.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? I've woken up at all sorts of crazy times.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: James. Because I don't have his phone number. CALL ME AGAIN YOO ASSHOLE. ;_;
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? "Well, you don't ask me how MY day was."
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? Yeah. The one about the special set of knives with that crazy portly guy in the striped apron with the mustache.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? ...Ahahahahaha.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? None. I just turned it off and laid in bed for a little bit.
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Ramune soda. OMG SO GOOD. If you ever want to get me a little something but can't think of what exactly to get me, go to an asian foods store and get me RAMUNE! :D
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? Dark.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? An unknown amount of champagne at my mom's wedding.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? No.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? Nope.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Sweet. Sweeeeeeet.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"? Oh, all the time.
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? ...o.o Um. Five.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? AHAHAH. Eight. I'm such a little slut.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Many times.
4. Have you "done it"? Not with a guy... surprisingly....
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Hair. Skin. Hands.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? No.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? No. o.o
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? None!
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? thinkgeek.com
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Leave America andbuy myself sex slaves buy a camera.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Oh yes.
6.Have you ever stolen anything? All the time.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? ...Well.. Which one? :D Something like.. 1300...
PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? PUBLAMICATION.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Um.. I don't know, maybe making it through life so far.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? ...Staying alive long enough to get out of Amerika.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? No.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Yah. :D
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Always.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? Worked on my book.
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? JADE. >.<
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? Jade.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? My alter ego.
4. Have you ever been cheated on? ... ._.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Smaller breasts.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? I don't want anyone else's traits but my own.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? Well.. not really.
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? Wrath. Hells yes.
Seven Heavenly Virtues
FAITH
1. What religion do you follow? I'm an Erisian. :D
2. What religion were you raised as? Fnord.
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? It's very very human.
4. Do you believe in magic? No.
5. What was the last promise you broke? I don't make promises.
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? All the time, when I used to bother praying.
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? No.
HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? NO. Of course not.
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? ..Someone like me.
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? Not if I know for sure that it's more likely to fail than not.
5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? If so, how close did you come to winning? I haven't.
6. Do you gamble? If so, what game or activity? I kick ass at poker. Seven card stud especially.
7. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway? Yeah.
CHARITY
1. What causes do you support? Pro-choice. Anti-war. Pro-gay rights. Anti-rascism. Other things involving diversity.
2. What causes have you given money or time to? None. HAH.
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless? Once again, no.
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel-inherent worldwide charity group? Gods. No.
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? No.
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food? Jade. JADE. DON'T ACT LIKE I DON'T. YOO SPEND MY MONEY FASTER THAN I DO.
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need? I've offered a place to stay for the better part of a week.
FORTITUDE
1. What are you most afraid of? Never leaving this HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PLACE.
2. What did you do today that was really brave? I wore my Invader pin. To let you all know that I'm an Irken invader so adept at what I do that I don't even need a SIR unit. :D
3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why? Secret Ninja Sawa, CAUSE SHE CAN DO ANYTHING AND KICK YOUR ASS WHILE DOING IT.
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? Yeah. But just because I don't value my own life.
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? Courage. Fuck heart, who needs heart. Pfft.
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? If so, when? If not, how do you avoid it? Nope. I don't know, every single time I've been on stage, it's just no big deal. I do my thing and I do it well, and then I get offstage.
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower? Irken invaders are always LEADERS.
JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? Were you chosen? Impossible.
2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it? Wouldn't affect me. :D
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)? I believe in an eye for an eye. My honors split English/Social Studies teacher in 7th grade once told my class a really good idea. He said that we should brand people's faces if they commit a crime, and depending upon the crime, it'd be a certain amount of points from one to twenty. The number of your crime would be branded onto your face, and you'd have to live with that brand for the rest of your life. I like that idea.
4. Which should be guaranteed legal: Abortions.
5. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? *rolls eyes* No.
6. What was your favorite media circus trial? President Clinton's impeachment.
7. Have you ever written a letter to a politician? Yep.
TEMPERANCE
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? Sleeping around.
2. Do you collect anything? Souls.
3.Are you addicted to anything? Chow mein. And shrimp, probably.
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan? Not directly.
5. What's your preferred method of paying for things? Real live tangible cash.
6.Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do: Believed what anyone said without first checked to see if it was true.
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things? All. The. Time.
PRUDENCE
1. Who is the wisest person you know? Sean.
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil? Never.
3. Do you take advice when it's given? Very very rarely.
4. What area are you wisest in? Anime. Philosophy. Saying what needs to be said.
5. Do you drive defensively? No. XD
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage? No.
7. What did you learn today? That no matter how badly damaged a situation you would like to fix is, time makes people forget, and with a little string pulling, you can have everything better than it ever was.
8. And of course, what is your favorite heavenly virtue? NONE OF THEM.
I can barely keep my eyes open. -_- *curls up next to the pile of cat on her bed and falls asleep, Tomiko Van from Do As Infinity singing softly in the background*
Chris: It takes quite a few before you completely lose vision actually. well, unless you go straight for the eyes.
Sawa: and if you were already stabbing yourself in the face anyway, why not?
Seven Deadly Sins
WRATH
1. Who did you last get angry with? "Trent." But I'm quite over that.
2. What is your weapon of choice? My fingernails.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Oh yes.
4. How about of the same sex? Even better.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Um... Jade.
6. What is your pet peeve? Assumptions.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Depends on who you are and what you did.
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Vacuum. ._.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? I've woken up at all sorts of crazy times.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: James. Because I don't have his phone number. CALL ME AGAIN YOO ASSHOLE. ;_;
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? "Well, you don't ask me how MY day was."
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? Yeah. The one about the special set of knives with that crazy portly guy in the striped apron with the mustache.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? ...Ahahahahaha.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? None. I just turned it off and laid in bed for a little bit.
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Ramune soda. OMG SO GOOD. If you ever want to get me a little something but can't think of what exactly to get me, go to an asian foods store and get me RAMUNE! :D
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? Dark.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? An unknown amount of champagne at my mom's wedding.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? No.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? Nope.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Sweet. Sweeeeeeet.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"? Oh, all the time.
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? ...o.o Um. Five.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? AHAHAH. Eight. I'm such a little slut.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Many times.
4. Have you "done it"? Not with a guy... surprisingly....
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Hair. Skin. Hands.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? No.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? No. o.o
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? None!
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? thinkgeek.com
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Leave America and
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Oh yes.
6.Have you ever stolen anything? All the time.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? ...Well.. Which one? :D Something like.. 1300...
PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? PUBLAMICATION.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Um.. I don't know, maybe making it through life so far.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? ...Staying alive long enough to get out of Amerika.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? No.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Yah. :D
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Always.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? Worked on my book.
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? JADE. >.<
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? Jade.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? My alter ego.
4. Have you ever been cheated on? ... ._.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Smaller breasts.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? I don't want anyone else's traits but my own.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? Well.. not really.
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? Wrath. Hells yes.
Seven Heavenly Virtues
FAITH
1. What religion do you follow? I'm an Erisian. :D
2. What religion were you raised as? Fnord.
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? It's very very human.
4. Do you believe in magic? No.
5. What was the last promise you broke? I don't make promises.
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? All the time, when I used to bother praying.
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? No.
HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? NO. Of course not.
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? ..Someone like me.
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? Not if I know for sure that it's more likely to fail than not.
5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? If so, how close did you come to winning? I haven't.
6. Do you gamble? If so, what game or activity? I kick ass at poker. Seven card stud especially.
7. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway? Yeah.
CHARITY
1. What causes do you support? Pro-choice. Anti-war. Pro-gay rights. Anti-rascism. Other things involving diversity.
2. What causes have you given money or time to? None. HAH.
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless? Once again, no.
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel-inherent worldwide charity group? Gods. No.
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? No.
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food? Jade. JADE. DON'T ACT LIKE I DON'T. YOO SPEND MY MONEY FASTER THAN I DO.
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need? I've offered a place to stay for the better part of a week.
FORTITUDE
1. What are you most afraid of? Never leaving this HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PLACE.
2. What did you do today that was really brave? I wore my Invader pin. To let you all know that I'm an Irken invader so adept at what I do that I don't even need a SIR unit. :D
3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why? Secret Ninja Sawa, CAUSE SHE CAN DO ANYTHING AND KICK YOUR ASS WHILE DOING IT.
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? Yeah. But just because I don't value my own life.
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? Courage. Fuck heart, who needs heart. Pfft.
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? If so, when? If not, how do you avoid it? Nope. I don't know, every single time I've been on stage, it's just no big deal. I do my thing and I do it well, and then I get offstage.
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower? Irken invaders are always LEADERS.
JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? Were you chosen? Impossible.
2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it? Wouldn't affect me. :D
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)? I believe in an eye for an eye. My honors split English/Social Studies teacher in 7th grade once told my class a really good idea. He said that we should brand people's faces if they commit a crime, and depending upon the crime, it'd be a certain amount of points from one to twenty. The number of your crime would be branded onto your face, and you'd have to live with that brand for the rest of your life. I like that idea.
4. Which should be guaranteed legal: Abortions.
5. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? *rolls eyes* No.
6. What was your favorite media circus trial? President Clinton's impeachment.
7. Have you ever written a letter to a politician? Yep.
TEMPERANCE
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? Sleeping around.
2. Do you collect anything? Souls.
3.Are you addicted to anything? Chow mein. And shrimp, probably.
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan? Not directly.
5. What's your preferred method of paying for things? Real live tangible cash.
6.Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do: Believed what anyone said without first checked to see if it was true.
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things? All. The. Time.
PRUDENCE
1. Who is the wisest person you know? Sean.
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil? Never.
3. Do you take advice when it's given? Very very rarely.
4. What area are you wisest in? Anime. Philosophy. Saying what needs to be said.
5. Do you drive defensively? No. XD
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage? No.
7. What did you learn today? That no matter how badly damaged a situation you would like to fix is, time makes people forget, and with a little string pulling, you can have everything better than it ever was.
8. And of course, what is your favorite heavenly virtue? NONE OF THEM.
I can barely keep my eyes open. -_- *curls up next to the pile of cat on her bed and falls asleep, Tomiko Van from Do As Infinity singing softly in the background*
2.26.2003
Item number one: Creative Communications (the people who published my crap poem) are posting the winners of the Fall 2002 poetry contest, i.e. the one I'm in, March 15. This adds nervousness on top of not hearing back from Word Riot.
Item number two: http://www.msnbc.com/news/877972.asp?0cv=CB10#BODY
This is America waggling its dick and gesturing to it. I hate these arrogant cocks. I will move out the day I graduate, I SWEAR.
Item number three: I just got a call informing me that my great aunt's health is rapidly declining. I was informed about six months before this that I will be receiving her car as part of my inheritance. This will be the meanest thing I will ever do, and I understand if more than a few people are disgusted with me.
...*dances with glee* I GET A FREE CAR!
Item number two: http://www.msnbc.com/news/877972.asp?0cv=CB10#BODY
This is America waggling its dick and gesturing to it. I hate these arrogant cocks. I will move out the day I graduate, I SWEAR.
Item number three: I just got a call informing me that my great aunt's health is rapidly declining. I was informed about six months before this that I will be receiving her car as part of my inheritance. This will be the meanest thing I will ever do, and I understand if more than a few people are disgusted with me.
...*dances with glee* I GET A FREE CAR!
Going through my e-mail folders because I need to get rid of all the shit I don't need anymore and make some room for.. well, nothing.
And I found this at the bottom of the only e-mail I ever got from the boy that I killed:
"Now I worry every night when I sleep that my newfound love will die. She hasn't accepted me yet, and she is you. Yes, I do love you the most, and I will never die till you die. I will stay alive just because there is hope that you might like me."
The irony's more than I can take.
And I found this at the bottom of the only e-mail I ever got from the boy that I killed:
"Now I worry every night when I sleep that my newfound love will die. She hasn't accepted me yet, and she is you. Yes, I do love you the most, and I will never die till you die. I will stay alive just because there is hope that you might like me."
The irony's more than I can take.
With a SoaD CD in my player, I strut these halls like the cock of the fucking walk. I stare them all down. This music just makes me want to run even more. I talk like this all the time, and here I still am. You know, I tried to find someone like me. Really hard. But all I found was a huge group of bored upper-middle class pot heads.
Ugh, I'm going to end up like Missy and get repetitive.
Day One: "I am so depressed."
Day Two: "I hate my life. Cramps. Church. Angst. Grr."
Day Three: "Melodrama high school politics boyfriend dumped me blah."
Day Four: "...I am so depressed."
I hate this town.
I cannot disguise all the stomach pains
And the walking of the canes when you do come out
And you whisper up to me in your life of tragedy
But I cannot grow till you eat the last of me
Oh, when will I be free?
And you, a parasite
Just find another host
Just another fool to roast
Ugh, I'm going to end up like Missy and get repetitive.
Day One: "I am so depressed."
Day Two: "I hate my life. Cramps. Church. Angst. Grr."
Day Three: "Melodrama high school politics boyfriend dumped me blah."
Day Four: "...I am so depressed."
I hate this town.
I cannot disguise all the stomach pains
And the walking of the canes when you do come out
And you whisper up to me in your life of tragedy
But I cannot grow till you eat the last of me
Oh, when will I be free?
And you, a parasite
Just find another host
Just another fool to roast
Haha. No melting butter sunrise for me this morning. Cloudy cloudy cloudy.
I love missing the bus in the morning. Just love it. I sit in my room and dance around to music, and then peek out my window to see if it's come yet, and then I realize I can't see the stop from my window, so I resume dancing and continue to do so until I hear the anguished cries of my parents. And then they drive me to skewl. :D Yay for strategery.
I just spent ten minutes putting chemicals on my face. JAED YOO POISONED MY MIND WITH YORE CLOWN STICKS. The black eyeliner makes people leave you alone. What a stigma for a society to have. "Oh no, you have a little black around your eyes, this must mean you're mentally unstable and emotionally dysfunctional." Nevermind the fact that in this case their assumptions are true.
I really liked it when "Trent" said something along the lines of, "I think I'm too insane to have a relationship." Fits like a glove, it does. I always had that horrible tendency of stringing people along and then either mutilating them emotionally, or disappearing altogether. But you guys have no idea how hard I laughed when I left poor stupid Jordan chasing after me at the convention last year. "Adrienne, wait! What's wrong?" HAH. I will get my revenge upon this species if it's the last thing I do.
It's FUN to hurt people. Maybe you should TRY it before you make your little hate clubs devoted to me. Though that does amuse me so. There's a club. Centered around hate. With my name on it. ALL IS GOING AS PLANNED.
*sighs* Someone's left this mess of human being on the floor, shivering and twitching. SOMEONE CLEAN IT UP BEFORE SOMEONE SLIPS IN IT AND FALLS.
I love missing the bus in the morning. Just love it. I sit in my room and dance around to music, and then peek out my window to see if it's come yet, and then I realize I can't see the stop from my window, so I resume dancing and continue to do so until I hear the anguished cries of my parents. And then they drive me to skewl. :D Yay for strategery.
I just spent ten minutes putting chemicals on my face. JAED YOO POISONED MY MIND WITH YORE CLOWN STICKS. The black eyeliner makes people leave you alone. What a stigma for a society to have. "Oh no, you have a little black around your eyes, this must mean you're mentally unstable and emotionally dysfunctional." Nevermind the fact that in this case their assumptions are true.
I really liked it when "Trent" said something along the lines of, "I think I'm too insane to have a relationship." Fits like a glove, it does. I always had that horrible tendency of stringing people along and then either mutilating them emotionally, or disappearing altogether. But you guys have no idea how hard I laughed when I left poor stupid Jordan chasing after me at the convention last year. "Adrienne, wait! What's wrong?" HAH. I will get my revenge upon this species if it's the last thing I do.
It's FUN to hurt people. Maybe you should TRY it before you make your little hate clubs devoted to me. Though that does amuse me so. There's a club. Centered around hate. With my name on it. ALL IS GOING AS PLAN
*sighs* Someone's left this mess of human being on the floor, shivering and twitching. SOMEONE CLEAN IT UP BEFORE SOMEONE SLIPS IN IT AND FALLS.
2.25.2003
Jade: Couldn't make sammiches. Had to make the fucking TEA sandwiches for SAGE'S CLASS AGGHLARKEAWRLEARDJareoiuroe;jakljre.
Sawa: lol
Jade: AHTE
Sawa: TEA sammiches?
Jade: ...Yes, ahte.
Sawa: XD
Jade: We're having a FUCKING TEA PARTY in Sage's class. >.<
Sawa: *left comment on yore journal* LOL I WANNA GOOOO
Jade: ...Oh, well. You get to see me in this frilly kind Victorian-looking shirt tomorrow. It's too tight, too. <:
Sawa: Eeeeee. XDXDXD
Jade: -shudder- Ooooh boy. -gets ready for asshole remarks all day- "You look prissy." "What the HELL?!"
Sawa: You could always bring a Victorian-looking gun. >:
Jade: Hahahahahaa. I was talking to Rhiannon about how I wanted to shoot someone, and there was a teacher right in front of me when I said it.
Sawa: XD
Jade: ..Good thing I was...kidding...-shifts eyes to the left-
Sawa: EEEEEheeheeheehee
Jade: -yawns quietly- Saw the comment. Thanks.
Sawa: I understand that we really don't know how to comfort each other verbally, so from now I will resort to food.
Jade: Good. I'll have to go soon. I need to wake up early to write a FUCKING CONCLUSION.... I mean, paragraph.
Sawa: i have to write a psych paper ;_;
Jade: -shudder- ...Eewww...
Sawa: Yeah.
Jade: Well...you don't have zero period. -_- Mehl;ekrjeoarij;e.
---
Jade: What does the word "verbose" mean, again? -pokes the breathing dictionary-
Sawa: wordy. you say too many obscure words. :D LIEK MEE.
Jade: SAWA EES VERBOSEEEEE..
Sawa: EEEEHEEHEEHEEEEE
Jade: That picture of the rose isn't working for my signature pic anymore... <:
Sawa: ...i don't have access to my ftp stuff because my computer's splodey, remember? i can't feex eet for yoo.
Jade: ... ;_;
Sawa: BLAME THE POWAR SUPPLY. stupid piece of shit can't even stand up to a power surge. >.>
Jade: ...;_;
Sawa: .....*dances to make her happie*
Jade: ;_;
Sawa: *dance dance* *dance dance*
Jade: ...XD
Sawa: :D!
Jade: -laughs-
Sawa: And we can share my last package of pocky tomorrow.
Jade: Whee.
YAY. :3
Sawa: lol
Jade: AHTE
Sawa: TEA sammiches?
Jade: ...Yes, ahte.
Sawa: XD
Jade: We're having a FUCKING TEA PARTY in Sage's class. >.<
Sawa: *left comment on yore journal* LOL I WANNA GOOOO
Jade: ...Oh, well. You get to see me in this frilly kind Victorian-looking shirt tomorrow. It's too tight, too. <:
Sawa: Eeeeee. XDXDXD
Jade: -shudder- Ooooh boy. -gets ready for asshole remarks all day- "You look prissy." "What the HELL?!"
Sawa: You could always bring a Victorian-looking gun. >:
Jade: Hahahahahaa. I was talking to Rhiannon about how I wanted to shoot someone, and there was a teacher right in front of me when I said it.
Sawa: XD
Jade: ..Good thing I was...kidding...-shifts eyes to the left-
Sawa: EEEEEheeheeheehee
Jade: -yawns quietly- Saw the comment. Thanks.
Sawa: I understand that we really don't know how to comfort each other verbally, so from now I will resort to food.
Jade: Good. I'll have to go soon. I need to wake up early to write a FUCKING CONCLUSION.... I mean, paragraph.
Sawa: i have to write a psych paper ;_;
Jade: -shudder- ...Eewww...
Sawa: Yeah.
Jade: Well...you don't have zero period. -_- Mehl;ekrjeoarij;e.
---
Jade: What does the word "verbose" mean, again? -pokes the breathing dictionary-
Sawa: wordy. you say too many obscure words. :D LIEK MEE.
Jade: SAWA EES VERBOSEEEEE..
Sawa: EEEEHEEHEEHEEEEE
Jade: That picture of the rose isn't working for my signature pic anymore... <:
Sawa: ...i don't have access to my ftp stuff because my computer's splodey, remember? i can't feex eet for yoo.
Jade: ... ;_;
Sawa: BLAME THE POWAR SUPPLY. stupid piece of shit can't even stand up to a power surge. >.>
Jade: ...;_;
Sawa: .....*dances to make her happie*
Jade: ;_;
Sawa: *dance dance* *dance dance*
Jade: ...XD
Sawa: :D!
Jade: -laughs-
Sawa: And we can share my last package of pocky tomorrow.
Jade: Whee.
YAY. :3
...Am I insane for still wanting to talk to her? I didn't hold a grudge against her, and still don't, but maybe she feels so guilty she can't even talk to me. Or maybe Josiah told her to shut the hell up and get rid of me like he did me with Robbie. I don't know. This is frustrating, keeping facts in line.
All I know is that I keep losing people, and this is no fun. People keep leaving, and no matter what I do I can't seem to stop them.
"Trent" was the only person I had e-mailed besides Aaron in months. Aaron doesn't even know me. Now she's gone too, but.. understandably, I guess? Who the hell would, in her position, also want to talk to me? So what the hell was I for three brief days? Everything brought to light just disappears? Why even bother if nothing was to come of it? You apologized, and I apologized. I don't hate you. I couldn't ever hate you now that I've talked to you.
Hear my desperate bid to try and get her back? This is really pitiful, because it never works in the first place.
I'm back all the way to square one with even less people than I started with. The question comes yet again: Where does this leave me?
All I know is that I keep losing people, and this is no fun. People keep leaving, and no matter what I do I can't seem to stop them.
"Trent" was the only person I had e-mailed besides Aaron in months. Aaron doesn't even know me. Now she's gone too, but.. understandably, I guess? Who the hell would, in her position, also want to talk to me? So what the hell was I for three brief days? Everything brought to light just disappears? Why even bother if nothing was to come of it? You apologized, and I apologized. I don't hate you. I couldn't ever hate you now that I've talked to you.
Hear my desperate bid to try and get her back? This is really pitiful, because it never works in the first place.
I'm back all the way to square one with even less people than I started with. The question comes yet again: Where does this leave me?
Yesterday I thought I knew you
You had on a red shirt and pretty new shoes
So that changed
I still know what
Maybe it's all in our head
We're deranged
You didn't understand why
Thought about you all of the time
Like a movie replayed in my mind
But my thoughts were letting it rewind
And I guess that's fine
You had on a red shirt and pretty new shoes
So that changed
I still know what
Maybe it's all in our head
We're deranged
You didn't understand why
Thought about you all of the time
Like a movie replayed in my mind
But my thoughts were letting it rewind
And I guess that's fine
Woke up at 5:55 this morning to put my laundry in the dryer, and I couldn't get back to sleep. I'm running on two hours, and nothing feels real. I exploded out of my front door this morning to run right into a melted butter sunrise. Cheerful things staring you in the eye when you're not even fully alive is very annoying.
E-mail from Aaron ahoy! XD (Part of it, anyway.)
"No! Don't you get it, if he really wanted to get to know you then he would have personaly given you his phone number. I think though that it is cute that he was a bit shy... That means he really was attracted to your beautiful soul. You do know that you have a neat personality and character. That's what I like about you anyway!!"
^^; Heheheheh.. Oh, hello, I'm in Geometry.. I'm not even aware of my surroundings. -_- I'll um.. write later.
E-mail from Aaron ahoy! XD (Part of it, anyway.)
"No! Don't you get it, if he really wanted to get to know you then he would have personaly given you his phone number. I think though that it is cute that he was a bit shy... That means he really was attracted to your beautiful soul. You do know that you have a neat personality and character. That's what I like about you anyway!!"
^^; Heheheheh.. Oh, hello, I'm in Geometry.. I'm not even aware of my surroundings. -_- I'll um.. write later.
2.24.2003
E-mail from Josiah dated Friday, September 21 2001:
"I want nothing more than for you to accept me, and let me love you...believe that I love you. Because I do. For the first time in my life, I've been able to say that I love. You're the first person that I've been able to admit it to...and tonight, I guess, proved to me that if you ever left how destroyed I would be.
So yes, Adrienne, you have the power to destroy yet another psyche. I'm giving you the option of crushing me for life, as you have to other less fortunate people in the past. I'm giving you my heart, Adrienne. Because I love you. I love you enough to entrust you with my being, my soul. *head hits desk* and I told myself that I would never let anyone touch me in this way... guess you got around my protective barriers. Even when we first met, and you told me how you would never talk to me again... I was enraged then. I needed you. And I took you for granted, and destroyed you. That was then."
That was then, he says.
THAT WAS THEN.
MY FUCKING ASS THAT WAS THEN. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
I COULD THROW YOUR SAME WORDS RIGHT BACK AT YOU: DO YOU HOLD NOTHING SACRED?! ENTRUST ME WITH WHAT? I GOT NOTHING. WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME? YOUR SHIT. YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME ENOUGH TO STOP HURTING ME.
YOU PROMISED.
YOU PROMISED AND I BELIEVED YOU.
I HATE YOU.
So long
Farewell
Goodbye
Take 'em all for the long ride
And you'll go around town
No one wants to be uptight anymore
You can be ashamed
Or be so proud of what you've done
But not no one, not now, not ever or anyone
Take 'em all for the sense of happiness
That comes from hurting deep down inside
Or you can walk the line and give a shit
I'm on the corner of this and this and this and this
And it's all all wrong, and it's all all gone
"I want nothing more than for you to accept me, and let me love you...believe that I love you. Because I do. For the first time in my life, I've been able to say that I love. You're the first person that I've been able to admit it to...and tonight, I guess, proved to me that if you ever left how destroyed I would be.
So yes, Adrienne, you have the power to destroy yet another psyche. I'm giving you the option of crushing me for life, as you have to other less fortunate people in the past. I'm giving you my heart, Adrienne. Because I love you. I love you enough to entrust you with my being, my soul. *head hits desk* and I told myself that I would never let anyone touch me in this way... guess you got around my protective barriers. Even when we first met, and you told me how you would never talk to me again... I was enraged then. I needed you. And I took you for granted, and destroyed you. That was then."
That was then, he says.
THAT WAS THEN.
MY FUCKING ASS THAT WAS THEN. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
I COULD THROW YOUR SAME WORDS RIGHT BACK AT YOU: DO YOU HOLD NOTHING SACRED?! ENTRUST ME WITH WHAT? I GOT NOTHING. WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME? YOUR SHIT. YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME ENOUGH TO STOP HURTING ME.
YOU PROMISED.
YOU PROMISED AND I BELIEVED YOU.
I HATE YOU.
So long
Farewell
Goodbye
Take 'em all for the long ride
And you'll go around town
No one wants to be uptight anymore
You can be ashamed
Or be so proud of what you've done
But not no one, not now, not ever or anyone
Take 'em all for the sense of happiness
That comes from hurting deep down inside
Or you can walk the line and give a shit
I'm on the corner of this and this and this and this
And it's all all wrong, and it's all all gone
Another night slips away
In other words I should say
There are no words he should say
There are no words
In his eyes I see the fear
That only time can disappear
If only time could reappear
Now is the time
I just realized I've been sitting here for hours just waiting for him to come back.
I don't feel like I'm falling down
Just say hello to the ground
In other words I should say
There are no words he should say
There are no words
In his eyes I see the fear
That only time can disappear
If only time could reappear
Now is the time
I just realized I've been sitting here for hours just waiting for him to come back.
I don't feel like I'm falling down
Just say hello to the ground
Michi gave me a note for old time's sake, and I'm glad she did. I was thinking to myself how I'd get through the ride home without tearing my hair out. And yeah, Jade and I got into a little tiff, but everything's fine now. And if you forget the sandwiches, I'm going to keel you. I want one of these days to be better than great. I'll bring the candy, you bring the sammiches.
I forgot to mention this, but I ran into Kelly at the mall yesterday. It was great fun; she threw her arms around me and we talked like we had seen each other every day for the last three years instead of three times. She said that if it wasn't too much, she'd chip in for the cost of the room for the convention, which is awesome. It's going to be a huge crowd this year:
Kelly's RPG group (7)
Kelly's D&D group (8)
James and his friends (4)
Everyone from Auburn High (6)
Everyone from Riverside (at least 6)
And all of us will be everywhere all at once. :D
I burned myself while I was building a fire.. *rubs hand* >.<
I can barely concentrate on this project for U.S. History. How the hell should I know what I think the American Dream is? I don't care. I won't be living here much longer. Good thing it's only a collage and a paper and not an essay or something silly like that.
...Which reminds me: Jade, if you get a chance to read this before I talk to you, Davis talked to Shaw and okayed the idea about doing our chemistry projects together, as long as there's two separate books with two separate story lines.
There's so much to do for school and I just want to sit somewhere in the sun with Trent and forget that I have to go back to that awful place tomorrow and be around those tediously stupid people again. I thought he was quite a bit older with the way he talked, and I was right. It makes me want to be somehow.. better. At all. In any way, just so he STAYS.
When I talk to him, I feel like Lo and all these fantasies of being taken in all sorts of ways fill my head. Makes me get even more hopeless when I realize I'm still in school and not on an airplane, or in Burma or somewhere else that I'd like to take him.. *closes her eyes and lets her mind wander*
I forgot to mention this, but I ran into Kelly at the mall yesterday. It was great fun; she threw her arms around me and we talked like we had seen each other every day for the last three years instead of three times. She said that if it wasn't too much, she'd chip in for the cost of the room for the convention, which is awesome. It's going to be a huge crowd this year:
Kelly's RPG group (7)
Kelly's D&D group (8)
James and his friends (4)
Everyone from Auburn High (6)
Everyone from Riverside (at least 6)
And all of us will be everywhere all at once. :D
I burned myself while I was building a fire.. *rubs hand* >.<
I can barely concentrate on this project for U.S. History. How the hell should I know what I think the American Dream is? I don't care. I won't be living here much longer. Good thing it's only a collage and a paper and not an essay or something silly like that.
...Which reminds me: Jade, if you get a chance to read this before I talk to you, Davis talked to Shaw and okayed the idea about doing our chemistry projects together, as long as there's two separate books with two separate story lines.
There's so much to do for school and I just want to sit somewhere in the sun with Trent and forget that I have to go back to that awful place tomorrow and be around those tediously stupid people again. I thought he was quite a bit older with the way he talked, and I was right. It makes me want to be somehow.. better. At all. In any way, just so he STAYS.
When I talk to him, I feel like Lo and all these fantasies of being taken in all sorts of ways fill my head. Makes me get even more hopeless when I realize I'm still in school and not on an airplane, or in Burma or somewhere else that I'd like to take him.. *closes her eyes and lets her mind wander*
2.23.2003
-_- They drug me around places. Tanya got shoes to match her dress for some stupid formal thing. My father got cologne and other things. My step-brother and real brother got shoes. (My brother's were $250 fucking dollars.) What do I get?
Father: Yeah, we can get you something at Hot Topic.
Adrienne: *wanders in* Ooooh, I like this shirt. :D
Father: ...
Adrienne: I want some JTHM comics. :3
Father: ...I'm getting out of here.
Adrienne: ...But you said--
Father: How about we buy you something on the other side of the mall?
Adrienne: *looks at him weird and leaving reluctantly*
Father: Don't you want something from Abercrombie, or American Eagle?
Adrienne: ...You're such an ass.
I got JACK FUCKING SHIT.
While we were in the food court, I got talked at about college, and planning, and where and what and who and why. He wants me to live there so I in turn get his money and do what I like as long as he likes it too.
Father: What're you doing for college?
Adrienne: I don't know.
Father: Where are you going to live?
Adrienne: Europe.
Father: *laughs* And how are you going to get there?
Adrienne: *scowls* Swim.
Father: Listen, we'll draw up a plan for you, figure out how you're going to pay for everything. You can spend some time with me, and I can get you whatever you want. Maybe you'd like living somewhere else. Your mom certainly doesn't have any money!
Adrienne: *stares at him, disgusted*
And then he wonders why I don't want to live with him.
Father: Yeah, we can get you something at Hot Topic.
Adrienne: *wanders in* Ooooh, I like this shirt. :D
Father: ...
Adrienne: I want some JTHM comics. :3
Father: ...I'm getting out of here.
Adrienne: ...But you said--
Father: How about we buy you something on the other side of the mall?
Adrienne: *looks at him weird and leaving reluctantly*
Father: Don't you want something from Abercrombie, or American Eagle?
Adrienne: ...You're such an ass.
I got JACK FUCKING SHIT.
While we were in the food court, I got talked at about college, and planning, and where and what and who and why. He wants me to live there so I in turn get his money and do what I like as long as he likes it too.
Father: What're you doing for college?
Adrienne: I don't know.
Father: Where are you going to live?
Adrienne: Europe.
Father: *laughs* And how are you going to get there?
Adrienne: *scowls* Swim.
Father: Listen, we'll draw up a plan for you, figure out how you're going to pay for everything. You can spend some time with me, and I can get you whatever you want. Maybe you'd like living somewhere else. Your mom certainly doesn't have any money!
Adrienne: *stares at him, disgusted*
And then he wonders why I don't want to live with him.
Round Number Two
Adrienne: *walks out to living room* Father, not hungry implies that I don't want anything to eat.
Father: You sure?
Adrienne: Yeah.
Father: You want some toast.
Adrienne: *starts walking away* No.
Father: Want some oatmeal?
Adrienne: No.
Father: Cinnamon roll?
Adrienne: *sighs and goes back to her room*
Step-mum: Why the hell do ya still ask after she's done bitching at ya?
Adrienne: *sits in room and waits for the shouting to stop so she can leave again*
These people take the fun out of dysfunctional. I'M JUST NOT HUNGRY.
And I don't want to go to the mall. ._.
Adrienne: *walks out to living room* Father, not hungry implies that I don't want anything to eat.
Father: You sure?
Adrienne: Yeah.
Father: You want some toast.
Adrienne: *starts walking away* No.
Father: Want some oatmeal?
Adrienne: No.
Father: Cinnamon roll?
Adrienne: *sighs and goes back to her room*
Step-mum: Why the hell do ya still ask after she's done bitching at ya?
Adrienne: *sits in room and waits for the shouting to stop so she can leave again*
These people take the fun out of dysfunctional. I'M JUST NOT HUNGRY.
And I don't want to go to the mall. ._.
Father: *pounds on door* Wakey wakey.
Adrienne: Oh, for fuck's sake..
Father: *opens door* We've got breakfast. Are you hungry?
Adrienne: Not really.
Father: Eggs and bacon and toast and hashbrowns and oatmeal. And after you eat you're going to take a shower, and then we're going to the mall. So hurry up. *shuts the door*
Adrienne: I wanna go home. ;_; *hides under her sheets*
Adrienne: Oh, for fuck's sake..
Father: *opens door* We've got breakfast. Are you hungry?
Adrienne: Not really.
Father: Eggs and bacon and toast and hashbrowns and oatmeal. And after you eat you're going to take a shower, and then we're going to the mall. So hurry up. *shuts the door*
Adrienne: I wanna go home. ;_; *hides under her sheets*
2.22.2003
can't let go
Today kinda.. sucked. They spent the rest of my money on games, but really, what was I going to do with it? I don't go anywhere.
This nice man that reads my blog is e-mailing me. I like him. He's the only person I want to talk to right now.
Me: With everything I write, as you may or may not have seen, I have a tendency to write as if I'm being told a story and not the one writing it. That's how I feel a lot of the time. The characters are all in my head, telling their collective stories in pieces, and I just try to frantically get them down on paper.
Him: I have and I admire it. If I were to give only one reason that you have a chance at becoming a writer, it would be that quality. Not many people can pull off that style well, but it is one of the best ways to write because it adds a great depth for the true reader. It makes everything exciting like kindergarten story hour without punishing the reader for not having the talent to write something like that themselves. Although, I know that the first time I read one of your poems (this was a bit ago) that I said to myself "i am sad that i don't possess such a knack." I guess I will go back to being a street vendor.
Speaking of e-mailing people, I need to remind myself to e-mail Aaron more. He's probably kind of run-down with work and college.
And I think I'm going to take Chris' advice for once. Mehem.
And you're mistaken, it's you that's faking
Living and breathing and dying too
I drew a little underwater scene on the cover of my novel's spiral. It looks cute. When the cover's full, I'll scan it along with the pictures from Jade and my adventure in Seattle. That's where I feel like being right now, underwater. I want to walk along the ocean shelf and stick my hands in sea anemones and starfish and fields of seaweed. I want to chase fish and breathe cold water. It's dark down in the water here. The sound is dense with life. You can barely see ten feet down on bright days.
I'll be hidden among all the sealife and you'll never find me.
Today kinda.. sucked. They spent the rest of my money on games, but really, what was I going to do with it? I don't go anywhere.
This nice man that reads my blog is e-mailing me. I like him. He's the only person I want to talk to right now.
Me: With everything I write, as you may or may not have seen, I have a tendency to write as if I'm being told a story and not the one writing it. That's how I feel a lot of the time. The characters are all in my head, telling their collective stories in pieces, and I just try to frantically get them down on paper.
Him: I have and I admire it. If I were to give only one reason that you have a chance at becoming a writer, it would be that quality. Not many people can pull off that style well, but it is one of the best ways to write because it adds a great depth for the true reader. It makes everything exciting like kindergarten story hour without punishing the reader for not having the talent to write something like that themselves. Although, I know that the first time I read one of your poems (this was a bit ago) that I said to myself "i am sad that i don't possess such a knack." I guess I will go back to being a street vendor.
Speaking of e-mailing people, I need to remind myself to e-mail Aaron more. He's probably kind of run-down with work and college.
And I think I'm going to take Chris' advice for once. Mehem.
And you're mistaken, it's you that's faking
Living and breathing and dying too
I drew a little underwater scene on the cover of my novel's spiral. It looks cute. When the cover's full, I'll scan it along with the pictures from Jade and my adventure in Seattle. That's where I feel like being right now, underwater. I want to walk along the ocean shelf and stick my hands in sea anemones and starfish and fields of seaweed. I want to chase fish and breathe cold water. It's dark down in the water here. The sound is dense with life. You can barely see ten feet down on bright days.
I'll be hidden among all the sealife and you'll never find me.
Sawa: did you know what that crazy taunting girl did?! she **CENSORED**. it's one of her **CENSORED**, she said. and when **CENSORED**, she just **CENSORED**! *sighs* she tortures me.
Chris: ...That's not cool at all.
Sawa: i know.
Chris: that's just bloody ridiculous. even I would never be so callous as to do that. well, I would avoid callous towards you anyway.
Sawa: she just doesn't care. she does what she pleases and then **CENSORED**. only, she says, they **CENSORED**. and i let her do this. because i will never get anything more. and i crave female sexual attention right now.
Chris: >_< Still, that is highly unacceptable. You clearly need a great deal of extremely hot lesbian sex.
*giggles* Indeeeeeeed.
Chris: ...That's not cool at all.
Sawa: i know.
Chris: that's just bloody ridiculous. even I would never be so callous as to do that. well, I would avoid callous towards you anyway.
Sawa: she just doesn't care. she does what she pleases and then **CENSORED**. only, she says, they **CENSORED**. and i let her do this. because i will never get anything more. and i crave female sexual attention right now.
Chris: >_< Still, that is highly unacceptable. You clearly need a great deal of extremely hot lesbian sex.
*giggles* Indeeeeeeed.
2.21.2003
Green Hair: hey...
Sawa: ...*blinks* Kay.
Green Hair: erm. why did we stop talking?
Sawa: Because you angered me past my tolerance point.
Green Hair: when?
Sawa: When you TRIPPED ME WHILE I WAS TRYING TO RUSH UP TO MY PSYCH ROOM. That's what proverbially broke the camel's back, anyway.
Green Hair: There was a lot more on its back?
Sawa: Yes.
Green Hair: I apologize.
Sawa: It's just who you are. Unless you were doing all of those things on purpose.
Green Hair: You say that it's just who I am like you know who I am.
Sawa: If you're going to be like this, you can just shut up and leave now.
Green Hair: ..sorry. You didn't really project a vibe of not liking me. Was I just misunderstanding that?
Sawa: It's not that I didn't like you. At first. And then shit happened, and I realized you're one of those people that will probably never escape the same bullshit they complain about because they won't do anything to help themselves. There's a good chance you'll end up living here in Auburn with a job in the area and nothing worth waking up for.
Green Hair: You've pinpointed exactly what I am afraid of. Do you think there is any way to get around that? Or do you think that I am stuck to live that fate?
Sawa: I'm not going through this with you again. All you do is make excuses and write yourself off as hopeless.
Green Hair: Thank you.
Sawa: For what?
Green Hair: Your time.
Sawa: My time?
Green Hair: The time you spent on me.
Sawa: Hopefully it got someone somewhere.
Sawa: ...*blinks* Kay.
Green Hair: erm. why did we stop talking?
Sawa: Because you angered me past my tolerance point.
Green Hair: when?
Sawa: When you TRIPPED ME WHILE I WAS TRYING TO RUSH UP TO MY PSYCH ROOM. That's what proverbially broke the camel's back, anyway.
Green Hair: There was a lot more on its back?
Sawa: Yes.
Green Hair: I apologize.
Sawa: It's just who you are. Unless you were doing all of those things on purpose.
Green Hair: You say that it's just who I am like you know who I am.
Sawa: If you're going to be like this, you can just shut up and leave now.
Green Hair: ..sorry. You didn't really project a vibe of not liking me. Was I just misunderstanding that?
Sawa: It's not that I didn't like you. At first. And then shit happened, and I realized you're one of those people that will probably never escape the same bullshit they complain about because they won't do anything to help themselves. There's a good chance you'll end up living here in Auburn with a job in the area and nothing worth waking up for.
Green Hair: You've pinpointed exactly what I am afraid of. Do you think there is any way to get around that? Or do you think that I am stuck to live that fate?
Sawa: I'm not going through this with you again. All you do is make excuses and write yourself off as hopeless.
Green Hair: Thank you.
Sawa: For what?
Green Hair: Your time.
Sawa: My time?
Green Hair: The time you spent on me.
Sawa: Hopefully it got someone somewhere.
2.20.2003
Chris: -waves halfheartedly then collapses on the table coughing and clutching his head in pain-
Sawa: *lays on him, wrapping her arms around him* I meesed you. :3
Chris: I missed you, also. At least, I did anytime I was able to form a useful thought around the horrific pain of migraine headaches and flu at school where they refused to give me advil. -flips off school-
Sawa: *pets* Stupid sickness. I command thee to leave.
Chris: Not yet. First I must miss tomorrow's classes. -flips off school again-
Sawa: Christ... Stupid Boy is talking to me.
Chris: Kill him.
Sawa: Well, he's out of reach. Otherwise I would.
Chris: In that case, ignore him and pay attention to me. I'm sick, I need female attention heaped upon me to make me feel better. Or something.
Sawa: Gladly. *clings to him and frets over his illness*
Sawa: Him: Thank you.
Me: For what?
Him: Your time.
Me: My time?
Him: The time you spent on me.
He's confusing me and I'm not appreciating it.
Chris: Kill him. Well I'd like to thank you for heaping female attention on me due to my illness. I have much love for you and your young hard teenage body.
Sawa: The love is reciprocated, be assured.
Sean: I had a dream! And you were there! As were composite images of Kamui and Jade, as I have no idea what they really look like. It was kinda neat. I went up to Portland to see what my hometown is actually like, and, long story short, ended up staying at Kamui's house, along with you and Jade. Nothing significant happened though. Just a lot of going to different places and general merriment. And I slept with you in the literal sense, no sex, no romance, just cuddling. And the bestest part of all....I had a kick-ass car for some reason!
And Jade and I once and for all know how to spellcapullaries capilliaries capillaries.
Sawa: *lays on him, wrapping her arms around him* I meesed you. :3
Chris: I missed you, also. At least, I did anytime I was able to form a useful thought around the horrific pain of migraine headaches and flu at school where they refused to give me advil. -flips off school-
Sawa: *pets* Stupid sickness. I command thee to leave.
Chris: Not yet. First I must miss tomorrow's classes. -flips off school again-
Sawa: Christ... Stupid Boy is talking to me.
Chris: Kill him.
Sawa: Well, he's out of reach. Otherwise I would.
Chris: In that case, ignore him and pay attention to me. I'm sick, I need female attention heaped upon me to make me feel better. Or something.
Sawa: Gladly. *clings to him and frets over his illness*
Sawa: Him: Thank you.
Me: For what?
Him: Your time.
Me: My time?
Him: The time you spent on me.
He's confusing me and I'm not appreciating it.
Chris: Kill him. Well I'd like to thank you for heaping female attention on me due to my illness. I have much love for you and your young hard teenage body.
Sawa: The love is reciprocated, be assured.
Sean: I had a dream! And you were there! As were composite images of Kamui and Jade, as I have no idea what they really look like. It was kinda neat. I went up to Portland to see what my hometown is actually like, and, long story short, ended up staying at Kamui's house, along with you and Jade. Nothing significant happened though. Just a lot of going to different places and general merriment. And I slept with you in the literal sense, no sex, no romance, just cuddling. And the bestest part of all....I had a kick-ass car for some reason!
And Jade and I once and for all know how to spell
2.18.2003
It amuses me to hear this poem by Nicole Blackman come on over Winamp and realize it was the one I was reciting a piece of under my breath when I was trapped in that car after Green Hair had pinned me down and bruised my ribs and my arms and my back.
Look at him and wish you weren't here.
Realize this was a mistake and swallow hard.
Touch his arm to comfort yourself.
See the track marks for the first time.
Wish you hadn't slept with him.
Wish you'd gone home when you said you would.
Sex in cars just makes you feel tired.
Look at him and wish you weren't here.
Realize this was a mistake and swallow hard.
Touch his arm to comfort yourself.
See the track marks for the first time.
Wish you hadn't slept with him.
Wish you'd gone home when you said you would.
Sex in cars just makes you feel tired.
To the tune of "If You're Happy And You Know It"....
If you're happy and you know it bomb Iraq.
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky, Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky, bomb Iraq.
It's "pre-emptive non-aggression", bomb Iraq.
Let's prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see, and that's good enough for me
Cause it's all the proof I need, so bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad with the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad, then bomb Iraq.
If your corporate fraud is growing, bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showing, bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy, and hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy, bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone has 'dissed' us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections, let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions, bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason, let's make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason bomb Iraq.
If you're happy and you know it bomb Iraq.
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky, Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky, bomb Iraq.
It's "pre-emptive non-aggression", bomb Iraq.
Let's prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see, and that's good enough for me
Cause it's all the proof I need, so bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad with the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad, then bomb Iraq.
If your corporate fraud is growing, bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showing, bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy, and hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy, bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone has 'dissed' us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections, let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions, bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason, let's make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason bomb Iraq.
Nate: do u think i am sexxy? do u like me? do u want my body?
Me: ......
Nate: well do u?
Me: you no longer have any right to say that the other two guys on that train were creepy.
Odin (Aya's net boyfriend): they seem to hate me
Aya: other than elaine ash and joy, yeah.
Odin: who is this?! she's EVIL!
Aya: she's my bisexual overprotective friend.
Odin: o really?
Aya: she reads my blog. sadly. i didn't make those entries private. didn't assume she read it anymore.
Odin: ?!
Aya: like i said, block her.
Odin: your BLOG?! you have one?! AHH!
Aya: you don't even WANT to see it.
Odin: gimme!
Aya: it has mean stuff in it. from when i was confused.
Odin: i dont care
Aya: kay.
Odin: you know that :-)
Aya: deadjournal.com/~sakuri
Odin: aya... i love you. and put all the time i can into you.
Aya: i know. i know, i know, i know. don't listen to the blog. don't listen to sawa.
Odin: i love you. im arguing with her about it.
Aya: good luck. i've learned not to.
Odin: well... winning so far. lol. i wish...
Aya: wow. go odin.
Odin: you can never win against a girl. ever. a lady always comes out on top.
Aya: i love you. and these people won't be meeting you.
Odin: :-) sawa scares me...
Aya: they don't matter. she scares me too, but she's a friend. it's why i said block her. i tried to warn you.
Odin: yea... do you hate me?
Aya: no. just got frustrated this weekend. i can't hate you, remember? brystan doesn't hate you. my close friends don't.
Odin: no really
Aya: they understand their friendship relies on their acceptance of you.
*sputters*
Fuck you, Aya, just.. fuck you. Jesus. *tosses her bracelet on the floor next to the others*
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?!
Me: ......
Nate: well do u?
Me: you no longer have any right to say that the other two guys on that train were creepy.
Odin (Aya's net boyfriend): they seem to hate me
Aya: other than elaine ash and joy, yeah.
Odin: who is this?! she's EVIL!
Aya: she's my bisexual overprotective friend.
Odin: o really?
Aya: she reads my blog. sadly. i didn't make those entries private. didn't assume she read it anymore.
Odin: ?!
Aya: like i said, block her.
Odin: your BLOG?! you have one?! AHH!
Aya: you don't even WANT to see it.
Odin: gimme!
Aya: it has mean stuff in it. from when i was confused.
Odin: i dont care
Aya: kay.
Odin: you know that :-)
Aya: deadjournal.com/~sakuri
Odin: aya... i love you. and put all the time i can into you.
Aya: i know. i know, i know, i know. don't listen to the blog. don't listen to sawa.
Odin: i love you. im arguing with her about it.
Aya: good luck. i've learned not to.
Odin: well... winning so far. lol. i wish...
Aya: wow. go odin.
Odin: you can never win against a girl. ever. a lady always comes out on top.
Aya: i love you. and these people won't be meeting you.
Odin: :-) sawa scares me...
Aya: they don't matter. she scares me too, but she's a friend. it's why i said block her. i tried to warn you.
Odin: yea... do you hate me?
Aya: no. just got frustrated this weekend. i can't hate you, remember? brystan doesn't hate you. my close friends don't.
Odin: no really
Aya: they understand their friendship relies on their acceptance of you.
*sputters*
Fuck you, Aya, just.. fuck you. Jesus. *tosses her bracelet on the floor next to the others*
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?!
2.17.2003
Aya, fine. Fine.
"Stay out of it," you say, EVEN THOUGH I'VE ONLY THROWN MY OPINION IN TWO TIMES THROUGHOUT YOUR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP.
YOU LISTEN TO ME LIKE EVERYTHING I'VE EVER HAD TO SAY FALLS DEAD ON THE FLOOR. I WAS WRONG, WASN'T I, IN ASSUMING YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE SAYING WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU WANTED OUT OF WHERE YOU WERE. You stupid girl. You have your Christian friends and your church and your crosses and your Christian bands and the posters and the pictures and the FUCKING PORCELAIN FIGURINES. You're Christian, ACCEPT IT OR STOP PRETENDING.
My anger makes everything I say worth nothing.
..I'm going out. Far away. I'll be around later.. *gestures and leaves*
"Stay out of it," you say, EVEN THOUGH I'VE ONLY THROWN MY OPINION IN TWO TIMES THROUGHOUT YOUR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP.
YOU LISTEN TO ME LIKE EVERYTHING I'VE EVER HAD TO SAY FALLS DEAD ON THE FLOOR. I WAS WRONG, WASN'T I, IN ASSUMING YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE SAYING WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU WANTED OUT OF WHERE YOU WERE. You stupid girl. You have your Christian friends and your church and your crosses and your Christian bands and the posters and the pictures and the FUCKING PORCELAIN FIGURINES. You're Christian, ACCEPT IT OR STOP PRETENDING.
My anger makes everything I say worth nothing.
..I'm going out. Far away. I'll be around later.. *gestures and leaves*
2.16.2003
1.Reminds you of an ex-girlfriend: Moulin Rouge MST - Le Tango de Roxanne
2.Sums up your life right now: Coldplay - Trouble
3.Makes you cry: Bright Eyes - The Center of the World
4.Makes you laugh: Spiderbait - Hot Water & Milk
5.Makes you want to sing: Glay - Stay Tuned
6.Reminds you of the one you want: Dashboard Confessional - The Good Fight
7.Reminds you of the one you love: The Seatbelts - Call Me Call Me
8. You never want to hear again: Anything they're playing on the radio.
9.You want to get married to: Chemistry - Kimi o Sagashiteta (Ahaha. No. I don't want to get married, but that song's about marriage so...)
10.Sums up your teenage years: No Doubt - Sixteen
11.You like to wake up to: Hajime Chitose - Wadatsumi no Ki (Especially in the summertime.)
12.You like out of your parents record collection: Jan Arden - You Don't Know Me
13.You love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: Chemical Brothers - Star Guitar
14.You love the video more than the tune: No Doubt - Spiderwebs (The Japanese version.)
15.You love which is from your favorite movie: The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
16.Makes you think of the moon: Gackt - Illness Illusion
17.Makes you think of stars: Fiona Apple - Across the Universe
18.Makes you think of the sun: Maria Yamamoto - Venus to Chiisa na Kamisama
19.Makes you think of being alone: Ayumi Hamasaki - Still Alone
20.Helps to escalate your aggressive temper: Tatu - Nas Ne Dogonyat
21.Makes you just feel good: Modest Mouse - 3rd Planet
22.You're listening to right now: Oasis - Wonderwall
23.Makes you want to dance: Onosaka Masaya - Groovy Blue
24.You like to fall asleep to: Vast - Blue
25.Makes you want to be a musician: Tea Party - Psychopomp
26.Makes you feel obnoxious: Sinohara Tomoe - Ultra Relax
27.Makes you feel superior (cool): Prodigy - Mindfields
28.Makes you go insane: The Cardigans - War
What's on:
Your mind? The shouting match between November and Hide going on inside my head.
Your plate? Pop Rocks.. :D
Your face? My hands.
Desk? Pens, novel, stapler, speakers, CDs, notepads, mouse, webcam, printer, and phone.
Shirt? "got root?"
What's in:
Your glass? Caffeine free raspberry creme soda.
Your eyes? Blood.
Your CD player? Burned CD with.. stuff on it.
Six things you:
Feel: Angry. Hurt. Abandoned. Vengeful. Hiding. Silent.
See: My rings. My pens. My novel. Star Craft. My hair. Jade's journal.
Love: My novel. Chris. Free time. My kittah. My room. Driving.
Hate: Josiah. Josiah. Josiah. Josiah. Josiah. Josiah.
Want: Jade. Chris. Peach juice. Cola gummies. Chow mein. A new CD.
Wouldn't take if they were given to you: Old Navy vintage anything. An IM from Green Hair. A mystery novel. Shorts. A phone call from my father. That honey-lemon green tea. o.o
Did today: Dreamt. Ate. Wrote. Drove. Watched Metropolis. Showered.
Last time you:
Cried? ...A month ago..?
Laughed? Five hours ago.
Smiled? Two hours ago.
Screamed? ..August 14th 2002. ._.
Hugged someone? Two hours ago.
2.Sums up your life right now: Coldplay - Trouble
3.Makes you cry: Bright Eyes - The Center of the World
4.Makes you laugh: Spiderbait - Hot Water & Milk
5.Makes you want to sing: Glay - Stay Tuned
6.Reminds you of the one you want: Dashboard Confessional - The Good Fight
7.Reminds you of the one you love: The Seatbelts - Call Me Call Me
8. You never want to hear again: Anything they're playing on the radio.
9.You want to get married to: Chemistry - Kimi o Sagashiteta (Ahaha. No. I don't want to get married, but that song's about marriage so...)
10.Sums up your teenage years: No Doubt - Sixteen
11.You like to wake up to: Hajime Chitose - Wadatsumi no Ki (Especially in the summertime.)
12.You like out of your parents record collection: Jan Arden - You Don't Know Me
13.You love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: Chemical Brothers - Star Guitar
14.You love the video more than the tune: No Doubt - Spiderwebs (The Japanese version.)
15.You love which is from your favorite movie: The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
16.Makes you think of the moon: Gackt - Illness Illusion
17.Makes you think of stars: Fiona Apple - Across the Universe
18.Makes you think of the sun: Maria Yamamoto - Venus to Chiisa na Kamisama
19.Makes you think of being alone: Ayumi Hamasaki - Still Alone
20.Helps to escalate your aggressive temper: Tatu - Nas Ne Dogonyat
21.Makes you just feel good: Modest Mouse - 3rd Planet
22.You're listening to right now: Oasis - Wonderwall
23.Makes you want to dance: Onosaka Masaya - Groovy Blue
24.You like to fall asleep to: Vast - Blue
25.Makes you want to be a musician: Tea Party - Psychopomp
26.Makes you feel obnoxious: Sinohara Tomoe - Ultra Relax
27.Makes you feel superior (cool): Prodigy - Mindfields
28.Makes you go insane: The Cardigans - War
What's on:
Your mind? The shouting match between November and Hide going on inside my head.
Your plate? Pop Rocks.. :D
Your face? My hands.
Desk? Pens, novel, stapler, speakers, CDs, notepads, mouse, webcam, printer, and phone.
Shirt? "got root?"
What's in:
Your glass? Caffeine free raspberry creme soda.
Your eyes? Blood.
Your CD player? Burned CD with.. stuff on it.
Six things you:
Feel: Angry. Hurt. Abandoned. Vengeful. Hiding. Silent.
See: My rings. My pens. My novel. Star Craft. My hair. Jade's journal.
Love: My novel. Chris. Free time. My kittah. My room. Driving.
Hate: Josiah. Josiah. Josiah. Josiah. Josiah. Josiah.
Want: Jade. Chris. Peach juice. Cola gummies. Chow mein. A new CD.
Wouldn't take if they were given to you: Old Navy vintage anything. An IM from Green Hair. A mystery novel. Shorts. A phone call from my father. That honey-lemon green tea. o.o
Did today: Dreamt. Ate. Wrote. Drove. Watched Metropolis. Showered.
Last time you:
Cried? ...A month ago..?
Laughed? Five hours ago.
Smiled? Two hours ago.
Screamed? ..August 14th 2002. ._.
Hugged someone? Two hours ago.
five details about your appearance right now:
[x] I put my old CB back in because I lost the new one. ._. I didn't tighten the ring enough.
[x] My toes are purple.
[x] I'm wearing my spinny rings.
[x] Hair's wet from my shower.
[x] Bloodshot eyes. Just staring at this pulsating screen.
five things you did today:
[x] Wrote.
[x] Played Trivial Pursuit.
[x] Drove.
[x] Put new things up on my walls.
[x] Read the newspaper.
five memorable things you did in the last year:
[x] Got my poetry PUBLISHED. For the first time. :D
[x] Screamed in pain and anguish as loud as I pleased. (Oh, what a shitty day that was.)
[x] Dyed my hair black.
[x] Got my lip pierced.
[x] Jade.
five things that everyone should know about you:
[x] Sometimes I'll hate you for something you (probably) can't control, and that's okay because I'll still talk to you.
[x] Everything I'm wearing means something that you'll probably never get the chance to hear about.
[x] I'm not your punching bag.
[x] I'm very humble and modest about most of myself because it's better to say I'm bad at something and really be good at it than to say I'm good at something and really be bad at it.
[x] Everyone has a set amount of times they can aggravate me, and it differs from person to person. I don't give any warning if you overthrow your shit-flinging maximum. Should you complete the near impossible challenge of pissing me off that much, I will rid myself of you hard and fast, and we will never speak again.
five of your favorite groups:
[x] Modest Mouse
[x] Oasis
[x] Incubus
[x] Ours
[x] Bright Eyes
five of your favorite movies:
[x] Fight Club
[x] Cruel Intentions
[x] Memento
[x] Ringu
[x] Reservoir Dogs
five things that make you happy:
[x] Writing.
[x] Feeling how I feel at any given moment, and not acting otherwise.
[x] Jade. Even for a moment, passing each other in the hallway. She makes me skip to class.
[x] New things.
[x] All the songs I listen to.
five people who mean a lot to you:
[x] Chris.
[x] Jade.
[x] James.
[x] Sean.
[x] Aya.
five things that disgust you:
[x] Humanity's gigantic fucking ego just because they're the most complex species on the planet.
[x] Ignorance.
[x] Slang, and those that don't know where the words they're using came from.
[x] How out of touch everyone is with everything.
[x] People that don't care if their own reality doesn't match the collective reality.
five things that impress you:
[x] Awareness.
[x] Point of views.
[x] Thoughtfulness, because no one is.
[x] Reminders that I'm not the only one paying attention.
[x] Getting away with something very illegal.
five things you can't live without:
[x] Writing.
[x] Intelligence/knowledge.
[x] Destruction.
[x] Pain.
[x] Visual stimulation.
JoeAndHisMonkey: you'll find him
JoeAndHisMonkey: somehow
JoeAndHisMonkey: things have a way of working out sometimes
[x] I put my old CB back in because I lost the new one. ._. I didn't tighten the ring enough.
[x] My toes are purple.
[x] I'm wearing my spinny rings.
[x] Hair's wet from my shower.
[x] Bloodshot eyes. Just staring at this pulsating screen.
five things you did today:
[x] Wrote.
[x] Played Trivial Pursuit.
[x] Drove.
[x] Put new things up on my walls.
[x] Read the newspaper.
five memorable things you did in the last year:
[x] Got my poetry PUBLISHED. For the first time. :D
[x] Screamed in pain and anguish as loud as I pleased. (Oh, what a shitty day that was.)
[x] Dyed my hair black.
[x] Got my lip pierced.
[x] Jade.
five things that everyone should know about you:
[x] Sometimes I'll hate you for something you (probably) can't control, and that's okay because I'll still talk to you.
[x] Everything I'm wearing means something that you'll probably never get the chance to hear about.
[x] I'm not your punching bag.
[x] I'm very humble and modest about most of myself because it's better to say I'm bad at something and really be good at it than to say I'm good at something and really be bad at it.
[x] Everyone has a set amount of times they can aggravate me, and it differs from person to person. I don't give any warning if you overthrow your shit-flinging maximum. Should you complete the near impossible challenge of pissing me off that much, I will rid myself of you hard and fast, and we will never speak again.
five of your favorite groups:
[x] Modest Mouse
[x] Oasis
[x] Incubus
[x] Ours
[x] Bright Eyes
five of your favorite movies:
[x] Fight Club
[x] Cruel Intentions
[x] Memento
[x] Ringu
[x] Reservoir Dogs
five things that make you happy:
[x] Writing.
[x] Feeling how I feel at any given moment, and not acting otherwise.
[x] Jade. Even for a moment, passing each other in the hallway. She makes me skip to class.
[x] New things.
[x] All the songs I listen to.
five people who mean a lot to you:
[x] Chris.
[x] Jade.
[x] James.
[x] Sean.
[x] Aya.
five things that disgust you:
[x] Humanity's gigantic fucking ego just because they're the most complex species on the planet.
[x] Ignorance.
[x] Slang, and those that don't know where the words they're using came from.
[x] How out of touch everyone is with everything.
[x] People that don't care if their own reality doesn't match the collective reality.
five things that impress you:
[x] Awareness.
[x] Point of views.
[x] Thoughtfulness, because no one is.
[x] Reminders that I'm not the only one paying attention.
[x] Getting away with something very illegal.
five things you can't live without:
[x] Writing.
[x] Intelligence/knowledge.
[x] Destruction.
[x] Pain.
[x] Visual stimulation.
JoeAndHisMonkey: you'll find him
JoeAndHisMonkey: somehow
JoeAndHisMonkey: things have a way of working out sometimes
2.15.2003
Sawa: I think I'm going to call the Matt guy.
Chris: You definitely ought to, since you have been talking about it for like a week. And you haven't.
Sawa: I know, but I'm a shithead and keep making excuses as to why I shouldn't. Things that seem logically reasonable but just.. aren't.
Chris: Yes. You are.
Sawa: Blah.
Chris: Just do it.
Sawa: First thing I say: "Hi, it's the girl from the train. I don't know why I didn't call you sooner; it appears I'm a shithead."
Chris: Noooo that's probably not good.
Sawa: I know. Or how about "Sorry I stared at you, but you're incredibly beautiful."
Chris: CALL HIM.
Sawa: OKAY. DX
Chris: You definitely ought to, since you have been talking about it for like a week. And you haven't.
Sawa: I know, but I'm a shithead and keep making excuses as to why I shouldn't. Things that seem logically reasonable but just.. aren't.
Chris: Yes. You are.
Sawa: Blah.
Chris: Just do it.
Sawa: First thing I say: "Hi, it's the girl from the train. I don't know why I didn't call you sooner; it appears I'm a shithead."
Chris: Noooo that's probably not good.
Sawa: I know. Or how about "Sorry I stared at you, but you're incredibly beautiful."
Chris: CALL HIM.
Sawa: OKAY. DX
2.14.2003
It's a mistake, but who knows.
Followed you home, crawled in your window.
This life is a trip when you're psycho in love.
And I know.
Followed your friends, you were not there.
Slashed and I cut, I bled in the sink.
Heard what you said and you're laughing, baby.
Slashed and I cut, and I do it for you.
I want you to notice when I'm not around.
Wherever you are.
You're solid gold.
I'll see you in Hell.
Followed you home, crawled in your window.
This life is a trip when you're psycho in love.
And I know.
Followed your friends, you were not there.
Slashed and I cut, I bled in the sink.
Heard what you said and you're laughing, baby.
Slashed and I cut, and I do it for you.
I want you to notice when I'm not around.
Wherever you are.
You're solid gold.
I'll see you in Hell.
Adrienne: *dismantles keith's headphones and stabs the wires with a flathead screwdriver*
Sean: Problem?
Adrienne: Yes, I can't get the speakers out.
Sean: Why's that a problem?
Adrienne: Becaust it's impeding the dismantling.
Sean: Why is there any kind of dismantling?
Adrienne: Because boys are stupid.
Sean: You know, I've heard so much of that today it's losing meaning.
Adrienne: Because I hate everything.
Sean: Awww, But I love YOU! --Slurps your cheek--
Adrienne: Not enough to make time for me! Remind you of someone?! D:<
Sean: Oh...oh wow. Never thought I'd be compared to HIM. That's depressing.
Adrienne: Yeah, well. *gestures and goes back to destroying*
Sean: People seem to have extremely short fuses today. What ever happened to the love?
Adrienne: Love was mercilessly slaughtered by an underground cult of assholes whose sole purpose on EARTH is to SOW DISSENT INTO THE MASSES AND CREATE ANTI-LOVE FEELINGS WORLDWIDE. I HATE MEN. *stabs the headphones with the screwdriver* Cheap plastic SHIT. *rips them in half and throws one piece behind her* *grabs hammer and drags the remains of the headphones attatched to the cord behind her* I'll be right back.
Sean: o.o Sometimes I just don't know how to respond to you...
What's left of Green Hair's headphones.
:D
Sean: Problem?
Adrienne: Yes, I can't get the speakers out.
Sean: Why's that a problem?
Adrienne: Becaust it's impeding the dismantling.
Sean: Why is there any kind of dismantling?
Adrienne: Because boys are stupid.
Sean: You know, I've heard so much of that today it's losing meaning.
Adrienne: Because I hate everything.
Sean: Awww, But I love YOU! --Slurps your cheek--
Adrienne: Not enough to make time for me! Remind you of someone?! D:<
Sean: Oh...oh wow. Never thought I'd be compared to HIM. That's depressing.
Adrienne: Yeah, well. *gestures and goes back to destroying*
Sean: People seem to have extremely short fuses today. What ever happened to the love?
Adrienne: Love was mercilessly slaughtered by an underground cult of assholes whose sole purpose on EARTH is to SOW DISSENT INTO THE MASSES AND CREATE ANTI-LOVE FEELINGS WORLDWIDE. I HATE MEN. *stabs the headphones with the screwdriver* Cheap plastic SHIT. *rips them in half and throws one piece behind her* *grabs hammer and drags the remains of the headphones attatched to the cord behind her* I'll be right back.
Sean: o.o Sometimes I just don't know how to respond to you...
What's left of Green Hair's headphones.
:D
2.13.2003
I'm yawning so hard my eyes water, tears slipping out and down to my lips. I used to savor them when I was younger, lick the few tears that came because they were so salty, even extending my rare bouts of crying to taste this flavor. Now I can barely taste the salt. All it feels like on my tongue is a cold drop from the tip of an evergreen needle. No taste. No emotion. Just water that came out of me for reasons unknown.
You know what does taste salty? Your fingertips. Lick one. Right now. Taste your fingertips. Wrap your lips around one and suck.
Salty, no? Makes your tastebuds tingle.
Wasting trees and time
When the fuck will we use this?
Life goes down the drain
Tomorrow, Jade and I will feast. I wonder how I'm going to bring the chow mein, whether I should make it in the morning and put it in something. I know I can bring a lot of the other things. And she'll ask me for a sip of Gogo no Koucha, but I won't give it to her, because that means opening the 1.5 liter bottle in French, and she doesn't think about how things affect me, so she won't understand how inconvenienced I'll be carrying the open bottle around for three more periods. The candy's fine, all processed and packaged, ready for consumption. But the chow mein...
You know what does taste salty? Your fingertips. Lick one. Right now. Taste your fingertips. Wrap your lips around one and suck.
Salty, no? Makes your tastebuds tingle.
Wasting trees and time
When the fuck will we use this?
Life goes down the drain
Tomorrow, Jade and I will feast. I wonder how I'm going to bring the chow mein, whether I should make it in the morning and put it in something. I know I can bring a lot of the other things. And she'll ask me for a sip of Gogo no Koucha, but I won't give it to her, because that means opening the 1.5 liter bottle in French, and she doesn't think about how things affect me, so she won't understand how inconvenienced I'll be carrying the open bottle around for three more periods. The candy's fine, all processed and packaged, ready for consumption. But the chow mein...
Viktor: -Pokes.-..Hey o.o
Sawa: hi.
Viktor: 'Sup? o.o
Sawa: i'm deviating.
Viktor: x_x'
Sawa: yeah. sipping ramune soda and watching fight club. what a way to spend a thursday night.
Viktor: Better than me <.< You forget Im scottish ;P Its 5:30am.. And I havent slept yet @.@
Sawa: i forget who you are period.
Viktor: You did!?
Sawa: yeah. well. i know a lot of people. don't be too insulted.
Viktor: You cant forget me.. Im Viktor ;-; From the old days in chars x.x
Sawa: *lifts a hand uselessly* i hated that place and have forgot most of the people there even exist, just as they've done with me.
Viktor: I never forgot you o.O'' I just left the net for a while, and you got a new S/N.. And I never knew it so I couldnt contact you o.O
Sawa: ...*smiles to herself* perhaps there was a reason for it. oh well. we'll try again.
Viktor: o.o.. -Pokes your sides.- Why'd you change it then. People getting on your nerves?
Sawa: no. i never change my name because of that. i change my name when i want something that descibes me more. this one doesn't really fit anymore, like an old shell: i'm slowly shedding my lain skin and retiring my title of computer otaku extraordinare.
Viktor: LoL'z. I never lost my title ;P
Sawa: you lose your title like you lose hair. they just fall off. kind of like the tails of lizards.
Viktor: Yup o.o Guess so <.<'
Sawa: you emote too much.
Viktor: Yeah I know.
Sawa: use your words.
Viktor: Bah fine fine fine. But I dont always have words to use.
Sawa: there's always words.
Viktor: Yes, but sometimes my brain lags. Well only when Im tired. When Im awake I never do jap faces. And when Im tired I do them all the time.. Unless someone complains to me then I never do them. Im ranting again aren't I?
Sawa: you're using your words. if ranting entails using words to express yourself instead of a series of characters mindlessly assembled in the orders the internet has showed you, so be it.
Viktor: LoL.. You're nuts and its strangely cool.
Sawa: you'd be surprised how little i hear that.
Viktor: Blah. Fuck everyone else if they dont think its cool. Dont hit me.
Sawa: why the hell would i hit you.
Viktor: I have no idea.
Sawa: hi.
Viktor: 'Sup? o.o
Sawa: i'm deviating.
Viktor: x_x'
Sawa: yeah. sipping ramune soda and watching fight club. what a way to spend a thursday night.
Viktor: Better than me <.< You forget Im scottish ;P Its 5:30am.. And I havent slept yet @.@
Sawa: i forget who you are period.
Viktor: You did!?
Sawa: yeah. well. i know a lot of people. don't be too insulted.
Viktor: You cant forget me.. Im Viktor ;-; From the old days in chars x.x
Sawa: *lifts a hand uselessly* i hated that place and have forgot most of the people there even exist, just as they've done with me.
Viktor: I never forgot you o.O'' I just left the net for a while, and you got a new S/N.. And I never knew it so I couldnt contact you o.O
Sawa: ...*smiles to herself* perhaps there was a reason for it. oh well. we'll try again.
Viktor: o.o.. -Pokes your sides.- Why'd you change it then. People getting on your nerves?
Sawa: no. i never change my name because of that. i change my name when i want something that descibes me more. this one doesn't really fit anymore, like an old shell: i'm slowly shedding my lain skin and retiring my title of computer otaku extraordinare.
Viktor: LoL'z. I never lost my title ;P
Sawa: you lose your title like you lose hair. they just fall off. kind of like the tails of lizards.
Viktor: Yup o.o Guess so <.<'
Sawa: you emote too much.
Viktor: Yeah I know.
Sawa: use your words.
Viktor: Bah fine fine fine. But I dont always have words to use.
Sawa: there's always words.
Viktor: Yes, but sometimes my brain lags. Well only when Im tired. When Im awake I never do jap faces. And when Im tired I do them all the time.. Unless someone complains to me then I never do them. Im ranting again aren't I?
Sawa: you're using your words. if ranting entails using words to express yourself instead of a series of characters mindlessly assembled in the orders the internet has showed you, so be it.
Viktor: LoL.. You're nuts and its strangely cool.
Sawa: you'd be surprised how little i hear that.
Viktor: Blah. Fuck everyone else if they dont think its cool. Dont hit me.
Sawa: why the hell would i hit you.
Viktor: I have no idea.
2.12.2003
Sawa: And get this: she likes Coldplay. But not Ours, or Radiohead. And all three, Chris, Thom, and Jimmy, have the same sounding voices. I don't get her.
Jade: ...Jimmy is SPECIAL. HE DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ANYONE ELSE.
Sawa: Delusions are fine in small doses, dearest. *petpet*
Jade: HE SOUNDS LIKE JIMMY.
Sawa: JIMMY GNECCO SOUNDS LIEK THOM YORKE.
Jade: -pouts- He doesn't sound like them.
Sawa: Does too.
Jade: He DOESN'T. Does not.
Sawa: DOES TOO.
Jade: DOES NOT
Sawa: DOES TOO
Jade: DOES NOT
Sawa: DOES TOO
Jade: DOES NOT
Sawa: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD RADIOHEAD?
Jade: DOES NOT DOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOT. Yes. I have. :p
Sawa: .....notdoes XD
Jade: ....shut up.
Sawa: you and yore spaces.
Jade: -whack-
Sawa: XD Thom and Jimmy sound the same.
Jade: ...I was going to make you a sammach for tomorrow to make up for all the times you bought me lunch. ;_;
Sawa: ;_; I want sammiiiicchhh.
Jade: Nah. I make nasty sammaches. lol
Sawa: ...Unless you're lying, you little WHORE. *throttles* Seriously, though.
Jade: -laughs- :3
Sawa: Example: Creep by Radiohead versus Medication by Ours. When they're both singing softly, they sound REALLY REALLY ALIKE. Thom isn't given to screaming. Or, in your opinion, having sex while singing.
Jade: Guy from Coldplay sounds too husky. I could agree with the soft singing part, but Jimmy has this moaning/murmuring/vibrato quality to his voice that I just cant' place in anyone else. -attacks with antenna joke- ---:D
Sawa: Okay, you know what? I'm going to play all three at the same time and judge for mySELF YOU ALIEN FREEK.
Jade: -runs away crying- Now I'll nevar make you sammach evaarrrrrr...
Sawa: I'LL SAMMACH YOU.
Jade: -sobs- D':----
Sawa: ...We are so retarded.
Jade: Yees we are.
Things are just so much funner when Jade's around.
Jade: ...Jimmy is SPECIAL. HE DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ANYONE ELSE.
Sawa: Delusions are fine in small doses, dearest. *petpet*
Jade: HE SOUNDS LIKE JIMMY.
Sawa: JIMMY GNECCO SOUNDS LIEK THOM YORKE.
Jade: -pouts- He doesn't sound like them.
Sawa: Does too.
Jade: He DOESN'T. Does not.
Sawa: DOES TOO.
Jade: DOES NOT
Sawa: DOES TOO
Jade: DOES NOT
Sawa: DOES TOO
Jade: DOES NOT
Sawa: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD RADIOHEAD?
Jade: DOES NOT DOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOTDOES NOT. Yes. I have. :p
Sawa: .....notdoes XD
Jade: ....shut up.
Sawa: you and yore spaces.
Jade: -whack-
Sawa: XD Thom and Jimmy sound the same.
Jade: ...I was going to make you a sammach for tomorrow to make up for all the times you bought me lunch. ;_;
Sawa: ;_; I want sammiiiicchhh.
Jade: Nah. I make nasty sammaches. lol
Sawa: ...Unless you're lying, you little WHORE. *throttles* Seriously, though.
Jade: -laughs- :3
Sawa: Example: Creep by Radiohead versus Medication by Ours. When they're both singing softly, they sound REALLY REALLY ALIKE. Thom isn't given to screaming. Or, in your opinion, having sex while singing.
Jade: Guy from Coldplay sounds too husky. I could agree with the soft singing part, but Jimmy has this moaning/murmuring/vibrato quality to his voice that I just cant' place in anyone else. -attacks with antenna joke- ---:D
Sawa: Okay, you know what? I'm going to play all three at the same time and judge for mySELF YOU ALIEN FREEK.
Jade: -runs away crying- Now I'll nevar make you sammach evaarrrrrr...
Sawa: I'LL SAMMACH YOU.
Jade: -sobs- D':----
Sawa: ...We are so retarded.
Jade: Yees we are.
Things are just so much funner when Jade's around.
2.11.2003
I DIDN'T CALL HIM.
Grawr.
It's not that I don't want to. I need a little time before I can be able to absorb the rejection and walk away completely unmarred.
Damn excuses.
Perhaps when I have a good day. And if I haven't had a good day by Thursday afternoon, then I'll call him then.
...Thursday is Valentine's day, isn't it.
Pfft.
Grawr.
It's not that I don't want to. I need a little time before I can be able to absorb the rejection and walk away completely unmarred.
Damn excuses.
Perhaps when I have a good day. And if I haven't had a good day by Thursday afternoon, then I'll call him then.
...Thursday is Valentine's day, isn't it.
Pfft.
Sawa: "Here are some pictures from my police station. The pictures are of a 90ish old male that was having a bath. He had something that looked like an oversized element from a kettle to help with keeping the water hot. Unfortunately he died and was in the bath for over 2 weeks with the water almost boiling. What you see on the left side of the lower picture are his legs. When the guys took hold of his legs to try and get some of him out of the bath all they got was a bone as it simply slid out of the flesh. The following day the cleaners came in and scooped up almost 50kg of goop that made up his body. If you look closely at the picture you can just make out the shape of a body. Obviously the smell was... um... interesting." ..*shudders and looks at the pictures*
Jade: EEEwweww...
Sawa: *scarred for life*
Jade: ...I wanna see.
Sawa: are you sure?
Jade: Yes.
Sawa: http://poetry.rotten.com/simmer/
Jade: ... D:
Sawa: x.x
Jade: -cries- Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhgggggg....
Sawa: *laughs*
Jade: Eeeeeeeeewwwwwww. EWEWEWEWEWEWEW. -laughs and screams at the same time-
Jade: EEEwweww...
Sawa: *scarred for life*
Jade: ...I wanna see.
Sawa: are you sure?
Jade: Yes.
Sawa: http://poetry.rotten.com/simmer/
Jade: ... D:
Sawa: x.x
Jade: -cries- Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhgggggg....
Sawa: *laughs*
Jade: Eeeeeeeeewwwwwww. EWEWEWEWEWEWEW. -laughs and screams at the same time-
2.10.2003
I thought about calling Matt for the first time today, and felt a wave of stage fright.
I know I'm going to disappoint him like I knew he'd leave his number.
He'll want a twenty year old with published work and an apartment somewhere with a car. He'll want someone with a job and a line of credit. He'll want to meet someone with actual skill. He'll want sex with an adult. He'll want he'll want he'll want, and all I will be able to do is stare at the floor with my cheeks flaming red and say, in the most pitiful and defeated voice, "I'm sixteen."
Like it's something to hate. Well, IT IS. Sixteen means nothing. Sixteen means you're being held down thrashing and screaming on the floor as they prod you with shards of the outside world. They make the outside hurt. Sixteen means torture. I'm not grown up like everyone wants me to be, is waiting for me to be. Not what you hoped for. Not what you read on that sheet of scribbles.
I'm sorry I'm sixteen.
I fell in love,
And I needed a roadmap
To find out where you lived.
So excited now.
Sleepwalking.
I'm sleepwalking.
I know I'm going to disappoint him like I knew he'd leave his number.
He'll want a twenty year old with published work and an apartment somewhere with a car. He'll want someone with a job and a line of credit. He'll want to meet someone with actual skill. He'll want sex with an adult. He'll want he'll want he'll want, and all I will be able to do is stare at the floor with my cheeks flaming red and say, in the most pitiful and defeated voice, "I'm sixteen."
Like it's something to hate. Well, IT IS. Sixteen means nothing. Sixteen means you're being held down thrashing and screaming on the floor as they prod you with shards of the outside world. They make the outside hurt. Sixteen means torture. I'm not grown up like everyone wants me to be, is waiting for me to be. Not what you hoped for. Not what you read on that sheet of scribbles.
I'm sorry I'm sixteen.
I fell in love,
And I needed a roadmap
To find out where you lived.
So excited now.
Sleepwalking.
I'm sleepwalking.
The question: War on Iraq: yes or no?
The response:
Missy: i 95% don't really care, but the part of me that does give a damn about the rest of the world, is, yes, opposed.
Chris: Although we have been enemies with Iraq for some time, and I do not believe for a second that they are innocent of wrongdoing in the charge of possessing so-called weapons of mass destruction, we have not seen a means for their deployment against us, nor have we any evidence that Saddam Hussein will provide these weapons to terrorists. As we sit here and talk about war with Iraq, we choose to ignore North Korea, which is probably a greater threat. I believe that action against Iraq is far less necessary than some sort of action to relieve tensions with North Korea, whether that action need to be military or otherwise. Now, as for Iraq...I'm sure our primary fear is not that Saddam Hussein will deploy his weapons against us, but rather that he will use them to hold oil-rich countries that we desperately rely on to power our beloved SUVs hostage and cut off our oil, which is entirely feasible. It is my opinion that we use far too much oil anyway, and if gas meant nothing to us then Saddam would be beneath our notice. what I see from Iraq is not a tangible threat, and I do not believe it is necessary to waste time and effort attacking them. At this juncture however, backing down and allowing Saddam Hussein to continue unmolested would also be a significant blunder as it would severely undermine the position we are currently in, in which it is not difficult to believe that we are willing to take action. To undermine this position could expose the United States to risk further down the road. All things considered, I would launch an attack against Iraq and bring that situation to an end as swiftly as possible.
Missa: ew, war. no.
Hayley: NO!!!! BUSH IS A FUCKING LOSER SHOOT HIM NOW!! BJABEwthwoafhjk;aweghWAGHLSHJGFAS. HEAR MY ANGRY WORDS!
Cody: i really know know where i stand.
Aya: no. we won't accomplish anything, and will only earn ourselves a nuclear war.
Matt (not the one you're thinking): no, because the Muslim religion is the strongest religion in the world and they support each other, all united as one. our military is weak, and the country doesn't need the world against us. Further more, every country wants nuclear capabilities in order for a system of check and balances, its not a weapon to be used, but a weapon to keep each other in check, so why should we be keep other countries from achieving it, after all, we are the only country to of actually used them and we hold enough to blow the world to bits hundreds of times over. Also I feel inclined to note that we want to prevent developing nations from using nuclear power, the reason they give is that the uranium becomes plutonium through process of radioactive decay, the same element used in nuclear bombs. The truth however is that weapons grade plutonium requires more energy put into it than what it gives off, depleted nuclear waste is much different from that of a nuclear bomb. The sad truth is that our government wants to control the worlds economy and boost our own by mobilizing for war. The United Nations is a joke, we push it upon other countries, we fund the entire thing and when push comes to shove its a joke, it is an organization that gives the 6 remaining people starving to death in Uganda the feeling of a voice in world afairs. money better spent elsewhere. i prefer an isolationist aproach to the world. keep relations in the western hemisphere, develop fuel cells and cut off dependencies with the east.
Jade: ...Undecided. I'm still weighing my ideas. Half says no war because, seriously, I don't like people getting killed. But the other half says "screw that, they're going to keel ussss so less keel them before they dooo thatt.." I don't know.
Kelly: no, because the whole idea of a war against iraq is just Bush's way of securing a place in history. There are other things he could have done besides this, not to mention there are more pressing matters.
The Other Adrienne: No. No real reason, I don't care so much, just don't want war here.
Viktor: Yes. We should go to war on Iraq. o.O; Cos the country is basiclly a joke, with thier 'voting' system with Saddam. And with what he does to the people, like testing weapons on them and shit. And the fact he has chemical weapons and wont give 'em up <.< As well as they supposedly found links between Saddam and the Taliban, and other terrorist factions. Need I go on?
Lonnie: not now. it wasnt saddam that this whole war started for, i think if they are going to fuck with them they should get it over with and not drag shit out for years wasting american tax dollars. Sure he deservs to be in war, but.. we shouldnt just do little shit over a period of twenty years. we should go in wipe them out and be done with it, stop toying around with them or do nothing at all. I know they arent going to do it, they're going to fuck off for a few years, just like Desert Storm, and accomplish nothing. it's Operation Bush Storming.
Heidi: no, don't feel we need to go to war right now. I don't care all too much about going to war right now and don't seen any particular reason for it.
Dez: i guess i would go with no. there's not honorable battles with how they fight now adays.
Nate: i dont care.
Jered: no. what happend when bush sr was pres? he got in a fight with another nation with oil, and it's same thing with this one. personally i think we should be more worried about korea.
Miranda: Yes. Iraq is flexing it's muscle and bascially made a mockery of the UN inspections all of those years. they hate us and are going to take action, probably sooner than later, in lieu of recent events. i think we need to squash what qualms we have with them before it gets out of hand.
The response:
Missy: i 95% don't really care, but the part of me that does give a damn about the rest of the world, is, yes, opposed.
Chris: Although we have been enemies with Iraq for some time, and I do not believe for a second that they are innocent of wrongdoing in the charge of possessing so-called weapons of mass destruction, we have not seen a means for their deployment against us, nor have we any evidence that Saddam Hussein will provide these weapons to terrorists. As we sit here and talk about war with Iraq, we choose to ignore North Korea, which is probably a greater threat. I believe that action against Iraq is far less necessary than some sort of action to relieve tensions with North Korea, whether that action need to be military or otherwise. Now, as for Iraq...I'm sure our primary fear is not that Saddam Hussein will deploy his weapons against us, but rather that he will use them to hold oil-rich countries that we desperately rely on to power our beloved SUVs hostage and cut off our oil, which is entirely feasible. It is my opinion that we use far too much oil anyway, and if gas meant nothing to us then Saddam would be beneath our notice. what I see from Iraq is not a tangible threat, and I do not believe it is necessary to waste time and effort attacking them. At this juncture however, backing down and allowing Saddam Hussein to continue unmolested would also be a significant blunder as it would severely undermine the position we are currently in, in which it is not difficult to believe that we are willing to take action. To undermine this position could expose the United States to risk further down the road. All things considered, I would launch an attack against Iraq and bring that situation to an end as swiftly as possible.
Missa: ew, war. no.
Hayley: NO!!!! BUSH IS A FUCKING LOSER SHOOT HIM NOW!! BJABEwthwoafhjk;aweghWAGHLSHJGFAS. HEAR MY ANGRY WORDS!
Cody: i really know know where i stand.
Aya: no. we won't accomplish anything, and will only earn ourselves a nuclear war.
Matt (not the one you're thinking): no, because the Muslim religion is the strongest religion in the world and they support each other, all united as one. our military is weak, and the country doesn't need the world against us. Further more, every country wants nuclear capabilities in order for a system of check and balances, its not a weapon to be used, but a weapon to keep each other in check, so why should we be keep other countries from achieving it, after all, we are the only country to of actually used them and we hold enough to blow the world to bits hundreds of times over. Also I feel inclined to note that we want to prevent developing nations from using nuclear power, the reason they give is that the uranium becomes plutonium through process of radioactive decay, the same element used in nuclear bombs. The truth however is that weapons grade plutonium requires more energy put into it than what it gives off, depleted nuclear waste is much different from that of a nuclear bomb. The sad truth is that our government wants to control the worlds economy and boost our own by mobilizing for war. The United Nations is a joke, we push it upon other countries, we fund the entire thing and when push comes to shove its a joke, it is an organization that gives the 6 remaining people starving to death in Uganda the feeling of a voice in world afairs. money better spent elsewhere. i prefer an isolationist aproach to the world. keep relations in the western hemisphere, develop fuel cells and cut off dependencies with the east.
Jade: ...Undecided. I'm still weighing my ideas. Half says no war because, seriously, I don't like people getting killed. But the other half says "screw that, they're going to keel ussss so less keel them before they dooo thatt.." I don't know.
Kelly: no, because the whole idea of a war against iraq is just Bush's way of securing a place in history. There are other things he could have done besides this, not to mention there are more pressing matters.
The Other Adrienne: No. No real reason, I don't care so much, just don't want war here.
Viktor: Yes. We should go to war on Iraq. o.O; Cos the country is basiclly a joke, with thier 'voting' system with Saddam. And with what he does to the people, like testing weapons on them and shit. And the fact he has chemical weapons and wont give 'em up <.< As well as they supposedly found links between Saddam and the Taliban, and other terrorist factions. Need I go on?
Lonnie: not now. it wasnt saddam that this whole war started for, i think if they are going to fuck with them they should get it over with and not drag shit out for years wasting american tax dollars. Sure he deservs to be in war, but.. we shouldnt just do little shit over a period of twenty years. we should go in wipe them out and be done with it, stop toying around with them or do nothing at all. I know they arent going to do it, they're going to fuck off for a few years, just like Desert Storm, and accomplish nothing. it's Operation Bush Storming.
Heidi: no, don't feel we need to go to war right now. I don't care all too much about going to war right now and don't seen any particular reason for it.
Dez: i guess i would go with no. there's not honorable battles with how they fight now adays.
Nate: i dont care.
Jered: no. what happend when bush sr was pres? he got in a fight with another nation with oil, and it's same thing with this one. personally i think we should be more worried about korea.
Miranda: Yes. Iraq is flexing it's muscle and bascially made a mockery of the UN inspections all of those years. they hate us and are going to take action, probably sooner than later, in lieu of recent events. i think we need to squash what qualms we have with them before it gets out of hand.
I'm back. :D
I'd like to show off the gleanings of my trip.
The e-mail address of Aaron, one of the three guys I met on the train on the way down. I was just wandering around, going to go get some chips, and on the way back to my seat, they asked me to sit at their table and play cards with them. We played Egyptian Ratscrew, I showcased my writing, and one of the guys got a little sloshed. Mr. Sloshed also seemed a bit disappointed that I was 16 and not 20 Or Something Like That. I also gave Aaron my addy, and Nate and I have already IMed each other a few times (as you can see from the post I made early this morning.)
Aya and I now have special matching bracelets that we bought at Clackamas Town Square (or whatever it is.) Hers is black; mine is red.
The Invader pin, to inform you all that I have indeed come to earth to infiltrate, weaken, and destroy your planet. :D
I sat next to this guy who was drawing comics in this black book in the Sightseeing car, and his artistry (and cuteness o.o) quickly sparked inspiration, and I began to scribble some mediocre storylet not only for him, but about him. He got off the train in Olympia, and as he rose to leave, I practically threw the piece of paper at him. He introduced himself as Matt, and said he'd read it on his way home. I kept thinking he was going to leave his phone number behind while I was next to him, when he tore a little piece of paper out and wrote on it. Lo and behold, when I was about to walk back to my sleeping compartment thing, I noticed the scrap on his seat. With his name, and his phone number. This made me unthinkably giddy, and I skittered back to my room, piece of paper clenched between teeth protectively.
I'm thinking I'll call him tomorrow or the next day.
"I'm attempting to, and have not succeded yet, to draw the analogy that making love to a stranger is just like making love to a TV. Imagine fucking a TV. If you're a male, imagine sticking your dick, or rather imagine cutting a hole in the back of the thing and sticking your dick in it, feel the scrape, the wires prickling about, the lifelessness. And to the ladies, imagine a big clunky television jammed up your cunt, imagine the pressure as each part pokes and tears. How violating. Is this what making love is? All this sex on TV, I might as well be drinking rust."
I love you, K.
"Of course the people don't want war... that is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
--Hermann Goering, Adolf Hitler's Deputy Chief and Luftwaffe Commander, at the Nuremberg trials, 1946.
I'd like to show off the gleanings of my trip.
The e-mail address of Aaron, one of the three guys I met on the train on the way down. I was just wandering around, going to go get some chips, and on the way back to my seat, they asked me to sit at their table and play cards with them. We played Egyptian Ratscrew, I showcased my writing, and one of the guys got a little sloshed. Mr. Sloshed also seemed a bit disappointed that I was 16 and not 20 Or Something Like That. I also gave Aaron my addy, and Nate and I have already IMed each other a few times (as you can see from the post I made early this morning.)
Aya and I now have special matching bracelets that we bought at Clackamas Town Square (or whatever it is.) Hers is black; mine is red.
The Invader pin, to inform you all that I have indeed come to earth to infiltrate, weaken, and destroy your planet. :D
I sat next to this guy who was drawing comics in this black book in the Sightseeing car, and his artistry (and cuteness o.o) quickly sparked inspiration, and I began to scribble some mediocre storylet not only for him, but about him. He got off the train in Olympia, and as he rose to leave, I practically threw the piece of paper at him. He introduced himself as Matt, and said he'd read it on his way home. I kept thinking he was going to leave his phone number behind while I was next to him, when he tore a little piece of paper out and wrote on it. Lo and behold, when I was about to walk back to my sleeping compartment thing, I noticed the scrap on his seat. With his name, and his phone number. This made me unthinkably giddy, and I skittered back to my room, piece of paper clenched between teeth protectively.
I'm thinking I'll call him tomorrow or the next day.
"I'm attempting to, and have not succeded yet, to draw the analogy that making love to a stranger is just like making love to a TV. Imagine fucking a TV. If you're a male, imagine sticking your dick, or rather imagine cutting a hole in the back of the thing and sticking your dick in it, feel the scrape, the wires prickling about, the lifelessness. And to the ladies, imagine a big clunky television jammed up your cunt, imagine the pressure as each part pokes and tears. How violating. Is this what making love is? All this sex on TV, I might as well be drinking rust."
I love you, K.
"Of course the people don't want war... that is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
--Hermann Goering, Adolf Hitler's Deputy Chief and Luftwaffe Commander, at the Nuremberg trials, 1946.
2.09.2003
Birthday: September 29th 1986
Birth Place: Inside your mind
Age: Not-so-sweet Sixteen
Astrological sign?: Libra
Location: Hell
Sexual Preference: Both, at the same time
Marital Status: Single in all its spledor
Current Hair color: Black
Eyecolor: Gray
Parents still together? No. They shouldn't have ever been
Pets? Kittah. Doggies. Jaed. :D
In school/graduated? High school, o joy of joys
PREFERENCES
Black/White: Black
Red/Blue: Blue
Dogs/Cats: Kiittah
Roses/Daisies: Snapdragons
Hair: Short/Long: Short
Boots/Shoes: Shooz
Dark/Light: Dark
Day/Night: Night
City/Country: City
FAVORITES
Color: Blue. Vibrant swirling blue
Animal: Pidgin
Soda: Mountain Dew
Food: Eel sushi
Bands: Modest Mouse, Oasis. This almost always ends up just what I'm listening to at the moment :\
Movie: Cruel Intentions, Fight Club, Memento. Fuck if I know
Extracurricular Activity: SYSTEMATICALLY KILLING YOU ALLwith my writing
Have tattoos?: Feh.
Piercings?: My CLITORIS
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Never
HAVE YOU...
Stolen anything?: All the time
Smoked?: Yes
Pot?: Ew
Crack? ...Yes
Drank? Yes
Considered being a hooker? Yes
Maybe a pimp? No
Been married? Never
Been divorced? Yes
Are you psycho? Of course I am
Split personalities? Yes
Schizophrenic? Yes
Obsessive? Ask him
Compulsive? Yeeesss
Obsessive Compulsive? Too mainstream for me
Anxiety? No
Depressed? Not so much depressed as I have already accepted my fate
Suicidal? Mmmm... suicide....
Homicidal? Since birth
HAVE YOU EVER
Kissed someone of the same sex: Yum
Been in love: Am. Was?
Been so drunk you blacked out: No
Kept a secret from everyone: 74320748597 of them :D
Set a body part on fire: Yeah
Had an imaginary friend: No
Called or seen a psychic: No
Ever cried at a chick flick: Of course not
Had a crush on a teacher: Yes
Found a cartoon character attractive: Yes
Ever at anytime owned a New Kids on the block tape: No
Prank called someone: There was a point during the summer after eighth grade when AJ and I would do it nightly, for hours
DO YOU...
Wear eye shadow: When the mood strikes me
Have a dog: Unfortunately
Want a tattoo: I'd like the pain
Have any regrets: Mm... no
Have a crush on someone: Wouldn't call it a crush
Do you have a best friend: Never
Who do you go to for advice: Sean, James
Who knows all your secrets? Me
Who do you cry with: HAH. No one, ever
DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
God/Devil: No
Yourself: Of course not
Your friends: No
Aliens: Meh
Love: Never did, never will
The Closet Monster: Yes, because that makes SO MUCH SENSE THAT THERE'S A MONSTER IN A CLOSET I CAN'T EVEN PUT A BODY PART INTO.
Soulmates: HAHAHAHAHAHA... No, I need to do this properly.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA....
Kira: Goot so far, mein liebe.
Thankies for reading that part of chapter one, Kiwa. Love you. :D
(..Aya's dad just read that entire thing over my shoulder.. XD)
Birth Place: Inside your mind
Age: Not-so-sweet Sixteen
Astrological sign?: Libra
Location: Hell
Sexual Preference: Both, at the same time
Marital Status: Single in all its spledor
Current Hair color: Black
Eyecolor: Gray
Parents still together? No. They shouldn't have ever been
Pets? Kittah. Doggies. Jaed. :D
In school/graduated? High school, o joy of joys
PREFERENCES
Black/White: Black
Red/Blue: Blue
Dogs/Cats: Kiittah
Roses/Daisies: Snapdragons
Hair: Short/Long: Short
Boots/Shoes: Shooz
Dark/Light: Dark
Day/Night: Night
City/Country: City
FAVORITES
Color: Blue. Vibrant swirling blue
Animal: Pidgin
Soda: Mountain Dew
Food: Eel sushi
Bands: Modest Mouse, Oasis. This almost always ends up just what I'm listening to at the moment :\
Movie: Cruel Intentions, Fight Club, Memento. Fuck if I know
Extracurricular Activity: SYSTEMATICALLY KILLING YOU ALL
Have tattoos?: Feh.
Piercings?: My CLITORIS
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Never
HAVE YOU...
Stolen anything?: All the time
Smoked?: Yes
Pot?: Ew
Crack? ...Yes
Drank? Yes
Considered being a hooker? Yes
Maybe a pimp? No
Been married? Never
Been divorced? Yes
Are you psycho? Of course I am
Split personalities? Yes
Schizophrenic? Yes
Obsessive? Ask him
Compulsive? Yeeesss
Obsessive Compulsive? Too mainstream for me
Anxiety? No
Depressed? Not so much depressed as I have already accepted my fate
Suicidal? Mmmm... suicide....
Homicidal? Since birth
HAVE YOU EVER
Kissed someone of the same sex: Yum
Been in love: Am. Was?
Been so drunk you blacked out: No
Kept a secret from everyone: 74320748597 of them :D
Set a body part on fire: Yeah
Had an imaginary friend: No
Called or seen a psychic: No
Ever cried at a chick flick: Of course not
Had a crush on a teacher: Yes
Found a cartoon character attractive: Yes
Ever at anytime owned a New Kids on the block tape: No
Prank called someone: There was a point during the summer after eighth grade when AJ and I would do it nightly, for hours
DO YOU...
Wear eye shadow: When the mood strikes me
Have a dog: Unfortunately
Want a tattoo: I'd like the pain
Have any regrets: Mm... no
Have a crush on someone: Wouldn't call it a crush
Do you have a best friend: Never
Who do you go to for advice: Sean, James
Who knows all your secrets? Me
Who do you cry with: HAH. No one, ever
DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
God/Devil: No
Yourself: Of course not
Your friends: No
Aliens: Meh
Love: Never did, never will
The Closet Monster: Yes, because that makes SO MUCH SENSE THAT THERE'S A MONSTER IN A CLOSET I CAN'T EVEN PUT A BODY PART INTO.
Soulmates: HAHAHAHAHAHA... No, I need to do this properly.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA....
Kira: Goot so far, mein liebe.
Thankies for reading that part of chapter one, Kiwa. Love you. :D
(..Aya's dad just read that entire thing over my shoulder.. XD)
Paradox Lain: maybe you could change trains ;P
Gir Kicks Ass 69: fuck that
Gir Kicks Ass 69: the train is always late
Gir Kicks Ass 69: that one is at least
Gir Kicks Ass 69: you just have to change it to the 615 it isnt hard
Paradox Lain: then you come early and help me do it. i don't wanna fuck anything up.
Gir Kicks Ass 69: lol
Gir Kicks Ass 69: ok have aya's dad or mom help you
Paradox Lain: kay
Gir Kicks Ass 69: just go up to the counter and say you want to change the tickets to the later train cuz you want to be later
Gir Kicks Ass 69: just to the 615 it wont be full
Paradox Lain: would i still have a sleeping car thing? <:
Gir Kicks Ass 69: lol no..
Paradox Lain: >:O
Gir Kicks Ass 69: we would chill at the dining car
Gir Kicks Ass 69: lol
Paradox Lain: i want sleepy car thing!
Gir Kicks Ass 69: haha
Gir Kicks Ass 69: well it is sleeping car or hanging out with a cute guy... you pick
Gir Kicks Ass 69: tough eh?
Paradox Lain: not really :P
Gir Kicks Ass 69: lol
Gir Kicks Ass 69: sleeping car
Paradox Lain: yah. XD
Paradox Lain: if i changed trains, i'd have to call lindsey and tell her to pick me up later, and then i'd have to call my mum and tell her i'll be home later.
Gir Kicks Ass 69: so you are goin on the early train
Gir Kicks Ass 69: ..sad
Paradox Lain: if could switch and be comfortable with it, knowing that i wasn't messing anything up, i would
Gir Kicks Ass 69: well i would switch but i dont know if i would have a ride home
Paradox Lain: :\
Paradox Lain: i am soooo tired.
Gir Kicks Ass 69: me too
Paradox Lain: sleep.
Gir Kicks Ass 69: i would but i dont wanna
Paradox Lain: why not?
Gir Kicks Ass 69: dunno
Gir Kicks Ass 69: hey i will ask my dad if i can go on the 405 train
Paradox Lain: kay : )
Gir Kicks Ass 69: and if i do i wanna sleep in the train car
Paradox Lain: of course :D
Gir Kicks Ass 69: no raping me
Paradox Lain: .....i can't promise that >.>
Gir Kicks Ass 69: lol
Gir Kicks Ass 69: oh well it happens
Gir Kicks Ass 69: that would be funny if you did rape me
Gir Kicks Ass 69: scary but funny
Gir Kicks Ass 69: haha
...I'll explain when I get home.
Oh yes, will I ever explain when I get home.
Gir Kicks Ass 69: fuck that
Gir Kicks Ass 69: the train is always late
Gir Kicks Ass 69: that one is at least
Gir Kicks Ass 69: you just have to change it to the 615 it isnt hard
Paradox Lain: then you come early and help me do it. i don't wanna fuck anything up.
Gir Kicks Ass 69: lol
Gir Kicks Ass 69: ok have aya's dad or mom help you
Paradox Lain: kay
Gir Kicks Ass 69: just go up to the counter and say you want to change the tickets to the later train cuz you want to be later
Gir Kicks Ass 69: just to the 615 it wont be full
Paradox Lain: would i still have a sleeping car thing? <:
Gir Kicks Ass 69: lol no..
Paradox Lain: >:O
Gir Kicks Ass 69: we would chill at the dining car
Gir Kicks Ass 69: lol
Paradox Lain: i want sleepy car thing!
Gir Kicks Ass 69: haha
Gir Kicks Ass 69: well it is sleeping car or hanging out with a cute guy... you pick
Gir Kicks Ass 69: tough eh?
Paradox Lain: not really :P
Gir Kicks Ass 69: lol
Gir Kicks Ass 69: sleeping car
Paradox Lain: yah. XD
Paradox Lain: if i changed trains, i'd have to call lindsey and tell her to pick me up later, and then i'd have to call my mum and tell her i'll be home later.
Gir Kicks Ass 69: so you are goin on the early train
Gir Kicks Ass 69: ..sad
Paradox Lain: if could switch and be comfortable with it, knowing that i wasn't messing anything up, i would
Gir Kicks Ass 69: well i would switch but i dont know if i would have a ride home
Paradox Lain: :\
Paradox Lain: i am soooo tired.
Gir Kicks Ass 69: me too
Paradox Lain: sleep.
Gir Kicks Ass 69: i would but i dont wanna
Paradox Lain: why not?
Gir Kicks Ass 69: dunno
Gir Kicks Ass 69: hey i will ask my dad if i can go on the 405 train
Paradox Lain: kay : )
Gir Kicks Ass 69: and if i do i wanna sleep in the train car
Paradox Lain: of course :D
Gir Kicks Ass 69: no raping me
Paradox Lain: .....i can't promise that >.>
Gir Kicks Ass 69: lol
Gir Kicks Ass 69: oh well it happens
Gir Kicks Ass 69: that would be funny if you did rape me
Gir Kicks Ass 69: scary but funny
Gir Kicks Ass 69: haha
...I'll explain when I get home.
Oh yes, will I ever explain when I get home.
2.07.2003
You have exactly 25 minutes to write your last journal entry for today, tomorrow, and most of Sunday. GO!
I just took a test for Geometry. It's not that these things are hard. They're just so... POINTLESS. I COULD BE WRITING RIGHT NOW AND NOT PROVING TO SOMEONE I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT I KNOW SOMETHING I WON'T CARE TO REMEMBER. And now they give me a maze I can solve in five seconds flat?! WHERE AM I, THIRD GRADE?!
I am Jack's mindless rage.
I feel like a writer for once:
+ I have my black Atari shirt on inside out, with the white w/ blue thread sleeves from my old snowboarding shirt safety pinned on (inside out as well.)
+ My nails are the epitome of grape soda.
+ My jeans have the word HATE carved above the right knee in big black permanent ink.
+ My Rockports are muddy.
+ I've (unconsciously) rubbed off all my forest green eyeshadow which has left me with some silly retardation of racoon eyes and green tinted fingers.
+ The batteries in my CD player are dead.
+ I'm carrying around two dead pens.
+ I found Le Pen, and then lost my Sharpie.
+ I have on my hand the following: I am Jack's deep-seated resentment.
+ The cover of Misdirection is sporting some pretty dirty hate slogans.
+ My spinny ring is so dirty it won't even move let alone spin.
+ I'm three hours away from being alone on a train headed to a town I don't even know the name of.
And I wonder why people think I'm weird.
To elaborate on that last part: yes, the thing with Aya went through. I'm staying at her place for the weekend, to rescue her from all the stupidity. I'm riding business class both ways, complete with meals and my own sleeping car. I've never been on a train before. I've got butterflies in me the size of dinner plates. Lindsey says it's my extremely early birthday present. Crazy crazy crazy.
And Josiah? Sucks to your assmar. That's the last time I read your blog.
(You don't know where that's from, none of you do. AHAHAHA. It's a classic too! Sad sadness. You all seriously need to read more. May I suggest Gore Vidal? :D)
See you allwhen if I come back.
I just took a test for Geometry. It's not that these things are hard. They're just so... POINTLESS. I COULD BE WRITING RIGHT NOW AND NOT PROVING TO SOMEONE I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT I KNOW SOMETHING I WON'T CARE TO REMEMBER. And now they give me a maze I can solve in five seconds flat?! WHERE AM I, THIRD GRADE?!
I am Jack's mindless rage.
I feel like a writer for once:
+ I have my black Atari shirt on inside out, with the white w/ blue thread sleeves from my old snowboarding shirt safety pinned on (inside out as well.)
+ My nails are the epitome of grape soda.
+ My jeans have the word HATE carved above the right knee in big black permanent ink.
+ My Rockports are muddy.
+ I've (unconsciously) rubbed off all my forest green eyeshadow which has left me with some silly retardation of racoon eyes and green tinted fingers.
+ The batteries in my CD player are dead.
+ I'm carrying around two dead pens.
+ I found Le Pen, and then lost my Sharpie.
+ I have on my hand the following: I am Jack's deep-seated resentment.
+ The cover of Misdirection is sporting some pretty dirty hate slogans.
+ My spinny ring is so dirty it won't even move let alone spin.
+ I'm three hours away from being alone on a train headed to a town I don't even know the name of.
And I wonder why people think I'm weird.
To elaborate on that last part: yes, the thing with Aya went through. I'm staying at her place for the weekend, to rescue her from all the stupidity. I'm riding business class both ways, complete with meals and my own sleeping car. I've never been on a train before. I've got butterflies in me the size of dinner plates. Lindsey says it's my extremely early birthday present. Crazy crazy crazy.
And Josiah? Sucks to your assmar. That's the last time I read your blog.
(You don't know where that's from, none of you do. AHAHAHA. It's a classic too! Sad sadness. You all seriously need to read more. May I suggest Gore Vidal? :D)
See you all
I wrote some amazingly good stuff, even by my standards. (It cheered me up just now to remember that I have a whole page covered in words waiting for me to remaster it all.) Hah. You'll all see. That retarded faceless poem floating in my head full of spite came together as I was watching Fight Club at fucking 2:30 in the morning. Go figure. I am Jack's insubordinate insomnia.
Gore Vidal was on TV last night. I do believe I've fallen in love with his words. J'adore, if you will.
There was a call with a 303 area code made yesterday from some company I had never heard of.
It was made nine minutes before I usually get home.
Makes me wonder.
How does it feel like to wake up in the sun?
How does it feel like to shine on everyone?
How does it feel like to let fovever be?
How does it feel like to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
Scream out sympathy
How does it feel like to sail in on the breeze?
How does it feel like to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
Scream out sympathy
How does it feel like to make it happening?
How does it feel like to breathe with everything?
How does it feel like to let forever be?
How does it feel like to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
Scream out sympathy
How does it feel like to be in crystalline?
How does it feel like to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
Scream out sympathy
Gore Vidal was on TV last night. I do believe I've fallen in love with his words. J'adore, if you will.
There was a call with a 303 area code made yesterday from some company I had never heard of.
It was made nine minutes before I usually get home.
Makes me wonder.
How does it feel like to wake up in the sun?
How does it feel like to shine on everyone?
How does it feel like to let fovever be?
How does it feel like to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
Scream out sympathy
How does it feel like to sail in on the breeze?
How does it feel like to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
Scream out sympathy
How does it feel like to make it happening?
How does it feel like to breathe with everything?
How does it feel like to let forever be?
How does it feel like to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
Scream out sympathy
How does it feel like to be in crystalline?
How does it feel like to spend a little lifetime sitting in the gutter?
Scream out sympathy
2.06.2003
Paradox Lain: YAAAAGGGHH
Paradox Lain: *sitting on floor*
J Yuka Yuy: ..I know.
J Yuka Yuy: That's the day I had.
I stomp around and shout and do cartwheels. I need to be able to MOVE when I'm around people. SO DON'T IMPEDE MY MOVEMENT WITH YOUR FRIVOLOUS HUMAN "AFFECTION".
Me: My toes are purple. LOOK AT MY TOES. *sets her feet on the dashboard*
Green Hair: *stares and swerves into oncoming traffic*
Me: o.o
Green Hair: SHIT! *swerves back* Don't do that, I can swerve into oncoming traffic on my OWN.
Me: *in awe* ..My toes have magical powers.
I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE, AND I BRING YOU
Paradox Lain: *sitting on floor*
J Yuka Yuy: ..I know.
J Yuka Yuy: That's the day I had.
I stomp around and shout and do cartwheels. I need to be able to MOVE when I'm around people. SO DON'T IMPEDE MY MOVEMENT WITH YOUR FRIVOLOUS HUMAN "AFFECTION".
Me: My toes are purple. LOOK AT MY TOES. *sets her feet on the dashboard*
Green Hair: *stares and swerves into oncoming traffic*
Me: o.o
Green Hair: SHIT! *swerves back* Don't do that, I can swerve into oncoming traffic on my OWN.
Me: *in awe* ..My toes have magical powers.
I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE, AND I BRING YOU
You see, I had this psych paper to do last night. And I also had other meaningless homework that I should've done just to not inconvenience me today when the teacher walks past asking, "Oh, no homework today, Adrienne?" and I have to come up with some image-saving lie, because I've been actually doing my homework lately. (Oh, forgive me Father, for I have sinned?)
My body would have none of that. I, instead fell asleep curled up in my bed with Missa's scarf wrapped around me like a snake. And really, that's just fine with me.
I was going through the drawing site links on Explodingdog.com, and I found this one in particular. Most of the drawings aren't great, and he knows it. They're all products of MS Paint. But I looked at his pictures, in which I saw the eternal struggle to get the interesting angles, which is one of my own, and I read his blog. I have no idea why, but his blog made me want to e-mail him. So I found a reason to, and did.
And Cabreenie's going with us to Burma also, which is good. I think. We could liven her up a bit. Make her insane like J34D and Chris and I are already.
So, I need to get back to homework. *snerk*
My body would have none of that. I, instead fell asleep curled up in my bed with Missa's scarf wrapped around me like a snake. And really, that's just fine with me.
I was going through the drawing site links on Explodingdog.com, and I found this one in particular. Most of the drawings aren't great, and he knows it. They're all products of MS Paint. But I looked at his pictures, in which I saw the eternal struggle to get the interesting angles, which is one of my own, and I read his blog. I have no idea why, but his blog made me want to e-mail him. So I found a reason to, and did.
And Cabreenie's going with us to Burma also, which is good. I think. We could liven her up a bit. Make her insane like J34D and Chris and I are already.
So, I need to get back to homework. *snerk*
2.05.2003
November: I have arrived! AHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA. HAHA.
Damien: *mutters* Self-centered whore.
November: Shut it, Apollo.
Will: *rolls eyes*
November: What the hell are you doing in my chair?! *shoves Afton out*
Afton: *falls on floor* HEY!
Cy: What the hell are you doing?
Lexan: Is she really not writing for us anymore? ;_;
November: Well, you know what they say. Out with the old and UGLY, in with the new, and beautiful.
Fuuma: *smirks* I like her attitude.
Kotsu: ...You can't do this. This upsets the balance.
November: What the hell are YOU doing here? Your stories were over ages ago. You had your fun, and now it's my turn. You shouldn't even be here anyway, didn't she finish Found six months ago?
Hide: She's in the chair. Can she do that? She can't do that.
Afton: *cries*
Cy: Uuuuugh. -___-
Damien: Just let her sit, Nova.
November: Listen, Apollo, I'll sit wherever I damn well please.
Will: *turns to Sawa* Do I REALLY have to be in the novel with HER?
Sawa: *coughs* Not for long. I swear.
November: What do you MEAN not for long? The entire thing should focus on me and my many talents.
Damien: Like your talent for complaining?
November: When I address you, Apollo, you'll know becase I'll be LOOKING AT YOU.
Afton: What a bitch.
Sawa: Ditto.
Kotsu: ...Christ. Good luck, man. *slaps Will on the back*
Will: -_-
Damien: *mutters* Self-centered whore.
November: Shut it, Apollo.
Will: *rolls eyes*
November: What the hell are you doing in my chair?! *shoves Afton out*
Afton: *falls on floor* HEY!
Cy: What the hell are you doing?
Lexan: Is she really not writing for us anymore? ;_;
November: Well, you know what they say. Out with the old and UGLY, in with the new, and beautiful.
Fuuma: *smirks* I like her attitude.
Kotsu: ...You can't do this. This upsets the balance.
November: What the hell are YOU doing here? Your stories were over ages ago. You had your fun, and now it's my turn. You shouldn't even be here anyway, didn't she finish Found six months ago?
Hide: She's in the chair. Can she do that? She can't do that.
Afton: *cries*
Cy: Uuuuugh. -___-
Damien: Just let her sit, Nova.
November: Listen, Apollo, I'll sit wherever I damn well please.
Will: *turns to Sawa* Do I REALLY have to be in the novel with HER?
Sawa: *coughs* Not for long. I swear.
November: What do you MEAN not for long? The entire thing should focus on me and my many talents.
Damien: Like your talent for complaining?
November: When I address you, Apollo, you'll know becase I'll be LOOKING AT YOU.
Afton: What a bitch.
Sawa: Ditto.
Kotsu: ...Christ. Good luck, man. *slaps Will on the back*
Will: -_-
Aya: as long as you come to my house and do...something.
Sawa: yeeessss
Aya: go to the crappy mall 205
Sawa: *nods firmly*
Aya: they no longer have spencers
Sawa: ...sinners.
Aya: yes. no CD shop either.
Paradox Lain: ...they will buuuuuuurn.
Aya: they deserve it.
---
Aya: i still like Found out of all your musings, even if you think it shit.
Sawa: i'm rather fond of it myself. it's the only thing josiah ever praised.
Aya: i keep finding myself doing similar things and stopping myself.
Sawa: why stop?
Aya: because it's imitation of your work which i will not equal.
Sawa: but what if completing that one thing sparks something else?
Aya: i have a stupid barbecue idea i've convinced myself i'll finish.. alright. it makes sense.
Sawa: what if it's the one thing that begets a hundred other things?
Aya: then you are right, and i shouldn't stop. because they can mock me for the rest. thank you, i never thought of it that way.
Sawa: i wanna go to burma.
Jade: ...o.o why
Sawa: cause it looks so amazing.
Jade: OOoooh...Beeauuuutttyyyfulllllll.
Sawa: i know. and now i want to go to burma.
Jade: lol. One more song--"Bring me to life," by Evanescence.
Sawa: agh. yew people and yore stupid evanescence.
Jade: :D Peeze?
Sawa: yus, yus
Jade: Weee ^_^
Sawa: james talked about them too.
Jade: :D
Sawa: him: "they don't even have a cd. they just have a... song." me: "talk about jumping the gun."
Jade: -just laughs-
Sawa: so, are you going to burma with chris and i?
[Sawa: http://honan.net/hanoipix/dscn3766.jpg
Chris: HAHA, YES! TO THE ATTACK MY COMMUNIST BRETHREN! North Vietnamese stylez! Anything I can do?
Sawa: come to burma with me. and vietnam. and thailand.
Chris: Excellent. : )
Sawa: we'll love it, and we'll eat wonderful food and swim in rivers and slam back shots of lao-lao and hike around in what feels like the middle of fucking nowhere
Chris: Sounds great.
Sawa: doesn't it, though?]
Jade: Sure. :D
Sawa: ^^
Jade: brrrmmmmmmmmmmmmm. ah. :D brrrma. brrrrrrrmah.
Sawa: *breaks into a grin* brrrrrmah indeeeed. well, what i said about green hair was true.
Jade: HELL YEAH. ..Oh, really?
Sawa: he was asked out by that... stupid girl. hey, stupid boy and stupid girl. perfect match. *is once again left in ditch to die* *gets out of ditch and goes to brrrrrmah*
Jade: ...-patpatpatpatpatpeptpetpetpetpet-
Sawa: agh, i nooooo ;_; i asked missy if she wanted to go with us. she said no.
Jade: Pft.
Sawa: and that's a good thing i'm thinking
Jade: Tryig to ruin all the fun. Are you stoopid or something? Whyd you even INVITE HER?
Sawa: i was being nice, she liked the pictures! and i knew she'd say no anyway she still refuses to believe i actually exist in the physical realm.
Jade: Fff. FUCK BEING NICE. Fucking bitch. I haet her.
Sawa: lol, she's not coeming anyway, keep your pants on.
Jade: Whatever. I don't like her. At ALL.
---
Jade: -:D
Sawa: heeee
Jade: ...that's me. Yup. With a COWLICK. Or...an antennae.
Sawa: slurp.
Jade: I have to get it filed down every week or everyolne knows that I'm an alien.
Sawa: i know now. I'LL EXPOSE YOO. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
Jade: -screams- Nnnooooooooooooooooooooooo ;_;
Sawa: ih's otay, i won't tell if you keep giving me Hawaiian punch thingies. :D
Jade: :D Okay. ...D: I'm out of them.
Sawa: :O *calls news stations* headline: "ALIENS DISCOVERED; GORE CLAIMS TO HAVE INVENTED THEM"
Jade: -cries- How kood yooooooo.... -wail-
Sawa: *still laughing at own headline*
Jade: Meeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Fffffffff....
Sawa: it's FUNNEH
Jade: Brrrrrrrrrr. -cold-
Sawa: and i hope you get it.
Jade: Brrmah. XD
Sawa: lol
Jade: YES I DO.
Sawa: GOOD THEN. YOU SHOULD BE LAUGHING.
Jade: -shiver-
Sawa: brrrrrrmah.
Jade: Ha. Ha-ha-ha-h-a-ha-h-h-h-h-HA. -shivers again- Fucking bitch. Making me waste my body heat on LAUGHING AT YORE STWEPEED JOKES
Sawa: BUT THEIR FUNNEEEEEHH
Jade: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEWHWEHWEHEW.
Sawa: *laughing so hard tears are coming out of her eyes*
Jade: ...wy? o.o
Sawa: because you make me laugh harder than i ever remember laughing. and it feels wonderful.
Jade: >:D My eveel plan is worrrrkkiinggg...
Sawa: when you forget to breathe and realize it, you remember that you're still alive.
Jade: Soon your brains weell spillll out of yore nose as yoo laaafff too haarrddd...and I will EET THEMMMMMMMM....AND GAIN YOUR KNOWLEDGE BY ABSORBING IT THROUGH MY INTESTINAL WALLS. mUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHaaaaa.
Sawa: well, as long as you're the one getting smarter from them and not someone else. :D
Jade: Sure. >:D
Sawa: *patpat* you little psycho.
Why did I post all of that? BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO FUCKING BRRRRRRMAH, THAT'S WHY.
It's my blog. I'll do what I please. *snoot*
Sawa: yeeessss
Aya: go to the crappy mall 205
Sawa: *nods firmly*
Aya: they no longer have spencers
Sawa: ...sinners.
Aya: yes. no CD shop either.
Paradox Lain: ...they will buuuuuuurn.
Aya: they deserve it.
---
Aya: i still like Found out of all your musings, even if you think it shit.
Sawa: i'm rather fond of it myself. it's the only thing josiah ever praised.
Aya: i keep finding myself doing similar things and stopping myself.
Sawa: why stop?
Aya: because it's imitation of your work which i will not equal.
Sawa: but what if completing that one thing sparks something else?
Aya: i have a stupid barbecue idea i've convinced myself i'll finish.. alright. it makes sense.
Sawa: what if it's the one thing that begets a hundred other things?
Aya: then you are right, and i shouldn't stop. because they can mock me for the rest. thank you, i never thought of it that way.
Sawa: i wanna go to burma.
Jade: ...o.o why
Sawa: cause it looks so amazing.
Jade: OOoooh...Beeauuuutttyyyfulllllll.
Sawa: i know. and now i want to go to burma.
Jade: lol. One more song--"Bring me to life," by Evanescence.
Sawa: agh. yew people and yore stupid evanescence.
Jade: :D Peeze?
Sawa: yus, yus
Jade: Weee ^_^
Sawa: james talked about them too.
Jade: :D
Sawa: him: "they don't even have a cd. they just have a... song." me: "talk about jumping the gun."
Jade: -just laughs-
Sawa: so, are you going to burma with chris and i?
[Sawa: http://honan.net/hanoipix/dscn3766.jpg
Chris: HAHA, YES! TO THE ATTACK MY COMMUNIST BRETHREN! North Vietnamese stylez! Anything I can do?
Sawa: come to burma with me. and vietnam. and thailand.
Chris: Excellent. : )
Sawa: we'll love it, and we'll eat wonderful food and swim in rivers and slam back shots of lao-lao and hike around in what feels like the middle of fucking nowhere
Chris: Sounds great.
Sawa: doesn't it, though?]
Jade: Sure. :D
Sawa: ^^
Jade: brrrmmmmmmmmmmmmm. ah. :D brrrma. brrrrrrrmah.
Sawa: *breaks into a grin* brrrrrmah indeeeed. well, what i said about green hair was true.
Jade: HELL YEAH. ..Oh, really?
Sawa: he was asked out by that... stupid girl. hey, stupid boy and stupid girl. perfect match. *is once again left in ditch to die* *gets out of ditch and goes to brrrrrmah*
Jade: ...-patpatpatpatpatpeptpetpetpetpet-
Sawa: agh, i nooooo ;_; i asked missy if she wanted to go with us. she said no.
Jade: Pft.
Sawa: and that's a good thing i'm thinking
Jade: Tryig to ruin all the fun. Are you stoopid or something? Whyd you even INVITE HER?
Sawa: i was being nice, she liked the pictures! and i knew she'd say no anyway she still refuses to believe i actually exist in the physical realm.
Jade: Fff. FUCK BEING NICE. Fucking bitch. I haet her.
Sawa: lol, she's not coeming anyway, keep your pants on.
Jade: Whatever. I don't like her. At ALL.
---
Jade: -:D
Sawa: heeee
Jade: ...that's me. Yup. With a COWLICK. Or...an antennae.
Sawa: slurp.
Jade: I have to get it filed down every week or everyolne knows that I'm an alien.
Sawa: i know now. I'LL EXPOSE YOO. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
Jade: -screams- Nnnooooooooooooooooooooooo ;_;
Sawa: ih's otay, i won't tell if you keep giving me Hawaiian punch thingies. :D
Jade: :D Okay. ...D: I'm out of them.
Sawa: :O *calls news stations* headline: "ALIENS DISCOVERED; GORE CLAIMS TO HAVE INVENTED THEM"
Jade: -cries- How kood yooooooo.... -wail-
Sawa: *still laughing at own headline*
Jade: Meeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Fffffffff....
Sawa: it's FUNNEH
Jade: Brrrrrrrrrr. -cold-
Sawa: and i hope you get it.
Jade: Brrmah. XD
Sawa: lol
Jade: YES I DO.
Sawa: GOOD THEN. YOU SHOULD BE LAUGHING.
Jade: -shiver-
Sawa: brrrrrrmah.
Jade: Ha. Ha-ha-ha-h-a-ha-h-h-h-h-HA. -shivers again- Fucking bitch. Making me waste my body heat on LAUGHING AT YORE STWEPEED JOKES
Sawa: BUT THEIR FUNNEEEEEHH
Jade: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEWHWEHWEHEW.
Sawa: *laughing so hard tears are coming out of her eyes*
Jade: ...wy? o.o
Sawa: because you make me laugh harder than i ever remember laughing. and it feels wonderful.
Jade: >:D My eveel plan is worrrrkkiinggg...
Sawa: when you forget to breathe and realize it, you remember that you're still alive.
Jade: Soon your brains weell spillll out of yore nose as yoo laaafff too haarrddd...and I will EET THEMMMMMMMM....AND GAIN YOUR KNOWLEDGE BY ABSORBING IT THROUGH MY INTESTINAL WALLS. mUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHaaaaa.
Sawa: well, as long as you're the one getting smarter from them and not someone else. :D
Jade: Sure. >:D
Sawa: *patpat* you little psycho.
Why did I post all of that? BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO FUCKING BRRRRRRMAH, THAT'S WHY.
It's my blog. I'll do what I please. *snoot*
2.04.2003
Green Hair: she asked me out
Sawa: *points to face* this is not the poster image of caring.
Green Hair: i told her id respond in a week
Sawa: okay. so what the fuck. just go out with her.
Green Hair: lol.. i hate you. i hate your gender. i hate my y chromosome. i will remove it now. *goes about removing evil portion of body*
Sawa: remove my sex chromosomes while you're at it.
Green Hair: heh
Sawa: and the small, vague, and in the end meaningless, aimless, and utterly pointless bond between them collapses into nothing, forming yet another black hole for her to reference when she gives tours of her galaxy to the passing visitors. if you'll excuse me, i'll be in burma.
Green Hair: .......
*flounces offstage*
Sawa: *points to face* this is not the poster image of caring.
Green Hair: i told her id respond in a week
Sawa: okay. so what the fuck. just go out with her.
Green Hair: lol.. i hate you. i hate your gender. i hate my y chromosome. i will remove it now. *goes about removing evil portion of body*
Sawa: remove my sex chromosomes while you're at it.
Green Hair: heh
Sawa: and the small, vague, and in the end meaningless, aimless, and utterly pointless bond between them collapses into nothing, forming yet another black hole for her to reference when she gives tours of her galaxy to the passing visitors. if you'll excuse me, i'll be in burma.
Green Hair: .......
*flounces offstage*
James: *calls*
Sawa: *glances at caller id* ... :O *picks up and squeals* JAMES! I LOVE YOU!
James: Best. Answer. Ever.
We talked for two hours, and updated each other. (I love his laugh.) We fawned over each other and told each other how much we missed talking. He's moved to Tacoma (like... twenty minutes away), with his parents (because the moron he was going to move in with turned out to be a convicted child molester [and we're talking seven year olds here]), and he's been working practically nonstop. I applaud his hard work, but it makes the thought of growing up and growing out a bit dismal.
I have an advantage over him: I didn't (and won't) drop out of high school. He's decided on a whim to become an english prof and teach at a big university. He even said he'd follow me to Maryland if I really wanted to go to Wellesley. Beautiful.
So, it's now long distance to talk to him, but he got a really good deal on a bunch of calling cards, so we'll be able to talk a bit every week, but not nearly as much as we had before he moved. (That was practically 25 hours each week.)
And I found all these awesome pictures of Thailand and Burma and Vietnam that makes me want to go there. Enjoy! :D
Sawa: *glances at caller id* ... :O *picks up and squeals* JAMES! I LOVE YOU!
James: Best. Answer. Ever.
We talked for two hours, and updated each other. (I love his laugh.) We fawned over each other and told each other how much we missed talking. He's moved to Tacoma (like... twenty minutes away), with his parents (because the moron he was going to move in with turned out to be a convicted child molester [and we're talking seven year olds here]), and he's been working practically nonstop. I applaud his hard work, but it makes the thought of growing up and growing out a bit dismal.
I have an advantage over him: I didn't (and won't) drop out of high school. He's decided on a whim to become an english prof and teach at a big university. He even said he'd follow me to Maryland if I really wanted to go to Wellesley. Beautiful.
So, it's now long distance to talk to him, but he got a really good deal on a bunch of calling cards, so we'll be able to talk a bit every week, but not nearly as much as we had before he moved. (That was practically 25 hours each week.)
And I found all these awesome pictures of Thailand and Burma and Vietnam that makes me want to go there. Enjoy! :D
(not mine.)
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you.
By now you should've somehow realized what you gotta do.
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.
Backbeat, the word was on the street that the fire in your heart is out.
I'm sure you've heard it all before, but you never really had a doubt.
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.
And all the roads we have to walk are winding.
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.
There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how.
Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all, you're my wonderwall.
Today was gonna be the day, but they'll never throw it back to you.
By now you should've somehow realized what you're not to do.
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.
And all the roads that lead you there were winding.
And all the lights that light the way are blinding.
There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how.
I said maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all, you're my wonderwall.
Old skool Oasis. Best ever.
Jade: ...poor Sawa.
Sawa: FAWK BOYS. *goes lesbian*
Jade: -laughs-
Sawa: soooo... jaaaade. :D
Jade: -blinks and backs away sloowwlly-
Sawa: *dies* *hits on cabreenie* o.o *takes that back*
Jade: -laughs-
Sawa: oh, i hate you all.
Jade: -blinks- ...Why you took that back? -laughs-
Sawa: she reminds me of someone >:
Jade: You'd scare the shit out of her. I thought you liked doing that to people.
Sawa: the two of you together do... lol
Jade: Someone who? ...WHO
Sawa: the two of you together look like the girls from Tatu. ;_;
Jade: -jaw drops- No. Way. We're not that purdy. >:
Sawa: almost. and it makes me UPSET kinda.
Jade: D: ...-blinks- Why?
Sawa: especially since yew HATE ME
Jade: I DON'T HATE YOO
Sawa: BUT YOO DON'T LIEK ME. you two together makes me vaguely jealous, and it's nothing you can help. ANYWAY. *sobs into her cookies*
Jade: ...-tosses a few Hawaiian candy things at her-
Sawa: oh, THIS makes it all better. ...*snatches them up and devours them*
Jade: ... :D
Paradox Lain: http://explodingdog.com/january2/couldyoudrawapictureofbrit.html
Daigo Kazama 7: Sometimes I question your sense of humor, love.
Sawa: FAWK BOYS. *goes lesbian*
Jade: -laughs-
Sawa: soooo... jaaaade. :D
Jade: -blinks and backs away sloowwlly-
Sawa: *dies* *hits on cabreenie* o.o *takes that back*
Jade: -laughs-
Sawa: oh, i hate you all.
Jade: -blinks- ...Why you took that back? -laughs-
Sawa: she reminds me of someone >:
Jade: You'd scare the shit out of her. I thought you liked doing that to people.
Sawa: the two of you together do... lol
Jade: Someone who? ...WHO
Sawa: the two of you together look like the girls from Tatu. ;_;
Jade: -jaw drops- No. Way. We're not that purdy. >:
Sawa: almost. and it makes me UPSET kinda.
Jade: D: ...-blinks- Why?
Sawa: especially since yew HATE ME
Jade: I DON'T HATE YOO
Sawa: BUT YOO DON'T LIEK ME. you two together makes me vaguely jealous, and it's nothing you can help. ANYWAY. *sobs into her cookies*
Jade: ...-tosses a few Hawaiian candy things at her-
Sawa: oh, THIS makes it all better. ...*snatches them up and devours them*
Jade: ... :D
Paradox Lain: http://explodingdog.com/january2/couldyoudrawapictureofbrit.html
Daigo Kazama 7: Sometimes I question your sense of humor, love.
the day the world went away
He's... He's not here to... to....
*covers her face with her hands*
He said he'd be here... He said he'd.......
.....Oh, how the imperious have fallen. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Isn't it hard? I wonder if you even come back here. I mean, I haven't taken a single mental glance in your blog's direction since, you know..
Well, in fact, I'm partially lying, you see, because I looked about ten minutes ago from the moment I'm writing this, and read that you—.... You told them about me. And that just breaks me all over again. And—... I want to.. hate you... And I look at the comics you showed me, and I listen to all the mp3s you've forgotten that you sent me, and read all the words you forgot you said, and I can't hate you, because.. you're essentially me. Our way of doing everything meshed and we share some of the same parts like connected blood vessles. Only these ran painfully dry, and you're forcibly cutting them one at a time.
I wanted to be angry, too, and for a while I could be, because I hadn't been angry when I needed to be in order to not just bottle my feelings up. But now, the anger's run out of fuel, and I am back to sitting here writing questions in my black journal and mentally scolding myself for every single thing I ever do.
..Ah, he doesn't come. He doesn't, Sawa! Doesn't come here anymore, doesn't wander past the graveyard anymore because he doesn't have to walk home anymore, he has a car. (My metaphores are hard to follow, I apologize. ...And I apologize even after I convince myself you're not even here anymore! I was always just talking to myself anyway.) You're just... just.... breaking down in front of your only connection to a-anything worth connecting to...
He's not here to listen. He's not here to.. to hear me read out loud my favorite parts, or... or..... read m-my theories... he's not here to see me grow up.... He's not here to see me. And I wasn't—... I wasn't—... I didn't choose to—... be me... or where I am...
I'm sure they laughed when they came here, when you posted that link, laughed and commented upon my state of half-humanhood, and I bet some of them even said that I was just a stupid kid. I'm sure you laughed at something too. (And let me say right here that when you said you choose not to divulge my age, it is clearly shown on the right in the first section. *laughs wanly*)
Look at how perfect she is for you. Look at her, she's wonderful, isn't she? You wouldn't admit it to me, but I know, she's just great for you. And I know I called it when I told you to have fun in Florida, but hold on for as long as you can. Please. Because.. someone has to be happy. SOMEone has to be happy with this outcome. Otherwise, why would it have happened?
I-I wanted to e-mail this to you, because it grips me so, and it's just.. I don't know... But I started reading your blog, and when I got halfway through the first posts I had missed, I closed the window because.. I don't want to bother you. So.. So I'll just put it here, in case.. i-in case I'm wrong again.
"Some places they dance and chant. Some places they tear their clothes. Some places they play choirs of bamboo clarinets. Some places they scream. In Polynesia, they wail, but the wailing is close to a song. It's strange—once you start listening to wailing that's also singing, that's also like a ritual, you start to wonder—how much does anyone really miss anyone else? How much are they just crying because it's what they have to do, the song they have to sing? Some Australian women have to fall silent when they're grieving—it's required—and they speak for the rest of their lives only with their hands."
..And you're not even here to find that you were my muse all along, you—... *sighs* You're the one inside everything that comes out of me. I filled me with you, and everything in turn is filled with not me, but you. I was only ever living for you, and I would've thrown away my own everything if you had so much as asked. So you can imagine why it's hard to get around in my life now that we are where we are.
But if you are here, and if you have read the things I've written, and you are watching, just know that I'm still reading to you out loud, whether you're here to listen or not. I'm still whispering to the movement in the corner of my eye. I'm still looking up at the sky and smiling. I'm still talking to you whenever I talk to anyone. I'm still dancing spontaneously for you, still splashing in the puddles for you, and drawing multi-colored butterflies on my hand and making beautiful things that I would have used to brighten and decorate your own self-condemned existence. I'm still taking pictures. I'm still explaining things to you and writing things to you and keeping them in a pile that's slowly taking over the desk they're on. (Still asking questions in that journal that I'll insist on sending to you when I've filled the pages, but at the last minute decide to wait, and forget I'm waiting till you've moved and I don't know the address of your residence any longer.) I'm still doing all of these things.
It didn't stop, and it won't stop, and it never stops.
He's... He's not here to... to....
*covers her face with her hands*
He said he'd be here... He said he'd.......
.....Oh, how the imperious have fallen. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Isn't it hard? I wonder if you even come back here. I mean, I haven't taken a single mental glance in your blog's direction since, you know..
Well, in fact, I'm partially lying, you see, because I looked about ten minutes ago from the moment I'm writing this, and read that you—.... You told them about me. And that just breaks me all over again. And—... I want to.. hate you... And I look at the comics you showed me, and I listen to all the mp3s you've forgotten that you sent me, and read all the words you forgot you said, and I can't hate you, because.. you're essentially me. Our way of doing everything meshed and we share some of the same parts like connected blood vessles. Only these ran painfully dry, and you're forcibly cutting them one at a time.
I wanted to be angry, too, and for a while I could be, because I hadn't been angry when I needed to be in order to not just bottle my feelings up. But now, the anger's run out of fuel, and I am back to sitting here writing questions in my black journal and mentally scolding myself for every single thing I ever do.
..Ah, he doesn't come. He doesn't, Sawa! Doesn't come here anymore, doesn't wander past the graveyard anymore because he doesn't have to walk home anymore, he has a car. (My metaphores are hard to follow, I apologize. ...And I apologize even after I convince myself you're not even here anymore! I was always just talking to myself anyway.) You're just... just.... breaking down in front of your only connection to a-anything worth connecting to...
He's not here to listen. He's not here to.. to hear me read out loud my favorite parts, or... or..... read m-my theories... he's not here to see me grow up.... He's not here to see me. And I wasn't—... I wasn't—... I didn't choose to—... be me... or where I am...
I'm sure they laughed when they came here, when you posted that link, laughed and commented upon my state of half-humanhood, and I bet some of them even said that I was just a stupid kid. I'm sure you laughed at something too. (And let me say right here that when you said you choose not to divulge my age, it is clearly shown on the right in the first section. *laughs wanly*)
Look at how perfect she is for you. Look at her, she's wonderful, isn't she? You wouldn't admit it to me, but I know, she's just great for you. And I know I called it when I told you to have fun in Florida, but hold on for as long as you can. Please. Because.. someone has to be happy. SOMEone has to be happy with this outcome. Otherwise, why would it have happened?
I-I wanted to e-mail this to you, because it grips me so, and it's just.. I don't know... But I started reading your blog, and when I got halfway through the first posts I had missed, I closed the window because.. I don't want to bother you. So.. So I'll just put it here, in case.. i-in case I'm wrong again.
"Some places they dance and chant. Some places they tear their clothes. Some places they play choirs of bamboo clarinets. Some places they scream. In Polynesia, they wail, but the wailing is close to a song. It's strange—once you start listening to wailing that's also singing, that's also like a ritual, you start to wonder—how much does anyone really miss anyone else? How much are they just crying because it's what they have to do, the song they have to sing? Some Australian women have to fall silent when they're grieving—it's required—and they speak for the rest of their lives only with their hands."
..And you're not even here to find that you were my muse all along, you—... *sighs* You're the one inside everything that comes out of me. I filled me with you, and everything in turn is filled with not me, but you. I was only ever living for you, and I would've thrown away my own everything if you had so much as asked. So you can imagine why it's hard to get around in my life now that we are where we are.
But if you are here, and if you have read the things I've written, and you are watching, just know that I'm still reading to you out loud, whether you're here to listen or not. I'm still whispering to the movement in the corner of my eye. I'm still looking up at the sky and smiling. I'm still talking to you whenever I talk to anyone. I'm still dancing spontaneously for you, still splashing in the puddles for you, and drawing multi-colored butterflies on my hand and making beautiful things that I would have used to brighten and decorate your own self-condemned existence. I'm still taking pictures. I'm still explaining things to you and writing things to you and keeping them in a pile that's slowly taking over the desk they're on. (Still asking questions in that journal that I'll insist on sending to you when I've filled the pages, but at the last minute decide to wait, and forget I'm waiting till you've moved and I don't know the address of your residence any longer.) I'm still doing all of these things.
It didn't stop, and it won't stop, and it never stops.
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